And Now I Wait

First off, let me apologize for the lack of a post yesterday.  When I returned to the hotel, I turned on my laptop and the hard drive crashed!  I was crushed.  No e-mail.  No work.  No myfitnesspal.com.  No Facebook.  But most importantly, no blog.  I felt pretty lost without my link to the world. 

I return from Wyoming with mixed emotions regarding my success while traveling.  I was definitely not great.  I also was definitely not horrible... well, not compared to previous travels of mine.  The best way to describe it would be that I made some poor decisions in moderation.  My anxiousness for my reunion with my friend the scale has turned in to a little bit of anxiety.  I am afraid to see what it has to tell me.  I can guarantee that I did not lose the two pounds I set out to lose.  At this point, I would be thrilled to see the same weight as when I left!  Not sure I will be that fortunate.  But, I will say that I do not plan to be disappointed.  I will start again tomorrow with renewed vigor and determination and next Wednesday my detour to Wyoming will be a distant memory.

The one thing that I can be thankful for is that I rarely travel anymore in my current job...  a far cry from my consulting days and my full-time travel schedule.  I may not be faced with this test again until next May when I am sent out once again for Operation Pride store visits.  I am also thankful that I really only had two days of true temptation.  I was good on Sunday while I traveled there.  And, I was really good today as I returned.  So, that left only Monday and Tuesday to venture out in to the world of restaurant choices.

While I referenced the difficulties of traveling while also eating well and exercising... and, I heard the same from others while discussing it...  I honestly am not sure if I am convinced that this is true.  Yeah, it might take a little more effort.   But, there are plenty of healthy choices at the restaurants.  There are still grocery stores that sell the same thing that they sell at home.  The only difficult thing is not having an oven or stove.  But, I think it is an easy thing to pin my poor decisions on.  Traveling is not the reason I ate too much at a buffet on Monday.  Traveling is not the reason I went out and had steak last night!  The only thing I can blame for those choices is an odd little impulse that sits in the back of my head and justifies these meals as reward for the sacrifice of not being at home, of not seeing my family, of not sleeping in my own bed.  That is a silly impulse and I am embarassed to admit it.  But, part of this journey is full disclosure and it helps me to put that out on the table.  I know there are plenty of you out there who are nodding your head in agreement... and plenty others who are not nodding only because they are lying to themselves.  Add to it the fact that the company is paying for my meal and those restaurants become even more tempting.  How stupid is that logic?  Why should that change my though process?  Ha, I showed Loaf 'N Jug!  For making me travel to Wyoming, I got even by eating like a pig, feeling sick to my stomach, and most likely gaining weight.  Who's the fool now?  Somewhere along this journey, I hope to get over this life-long obsession, and deeply rooted emotional issue, I have with taking advantage of a free meal.  I have gotten a little better, but I am not quite there.  Next May, I hope to show complete resolve and plan to eat exactly as I would if I was at home.

So, now I wait.  In less than 10 hours, I get the result from the only true barometer of my success.  I miss my friend.  Here's to reuniting with my old friend and, as all true friends do, being happy with whatever they have to tell me and not being upset when they sit there on the floor judging me...