Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Nicest Compliment

Despite my modest protests, I love a good compliment as much as anybody.  In fact, these compliments continue to add more fuel to the fire and add constant motivation.  So, thanks to all of you who have given me positive feedback and made each day of this journey that much easier.  There are times when I am almost embarassed by the attention. 

And, while I will kindly accept compliments in any form, there is one compliment that seems to stand out amongst the crowd.  Unfortunately, those loved ones that I see daily or quite often don't even have the luxury of conveying this compliment on me.  The compliment I am referring to are the following five powerful words...  "I didn't even recognize you!".  For the second time in a week, both times at the Pueblo Mall, I had friends utter those words to me.  Both times this happened the people I am referring to had walked by me first and both times I had to shout their name for them to realize they knew me.  I love that compliment.  I can think of no better measure of my success than to actually have people think I look like a different person.  Hopefully, it's not just "different", but also "better".  I hope in time that these same people will think I look like the kid of my former self. 

It's unfortunate that the only people who can give me the kindest compliment are those folks who I seldom see.  I still hope that there is a friend, I would even go with acquaintance, who has not seen me since January that I will not run in to until after I am 200 pounds.  I am hoping that at least one person who last saw me at 315 sees me at 200.  Oh, and I hope that person notices the 115 pounds and does the same double take as the two people I spoke of above.  Here's to hoping that I still have friends out there that are okay if I don't contact them over the next few months...

242.6... 70.4 Lost!

The great thing about tracking all these numbers is all of the mini-milestones it provides me.  Today, I broke the 70 pound weight loss barrier!  I love seeing that number on the lower right of this blog slowly increase and I really love every time it breaks that next 10 pound barrier.  I lost 1.2 this morning and have one more day to add to June's weight loss that has already exceeded my goal.  It seems like not too long ago that I was just struggling to get under 250 and now all of a sudden I am getting dangerously close to 230-something. 

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Dr. Jarrett

Our family physician is Dr. Michael Jarrett.  I love Dr. Jarrett... though I have never visited as much as I should over the years.  That's likely because, like most males, I have a tendency to avoid doctors.  But, it could also be because he never had food available when I visited!  And my lack of recent visits might be attributed to the fact that the last time I visited for a physical I ended up having my first bout with diverticulitis.  So, I might have a little cause and effect mental block that I still need to work through.

The reason I love Dr. Jarrett is that he is a no-nonsense kind of guy.  Dr. Jarrett is a bit of a health nut... which seems kind of funny to even point out for a practitioner of health.  But, Dr. Jarrett is really a health nut.  And, while he has never been anything but supportive, he is also usually pretty blunt about his patient's health.  And while I should not speak for the good doctor, I believe that he believes that everybody should be healthy.  And, I like that.  I don't want a doctor who is going to give me even the slightest reason to be okay with my obesity.  I want a doctor who is a little disappointed in me.  I don't want a doctor who is eager to prescribe drugs to help me... though I have no issues with him prescribing such medication to others for valid reasons.  In the end, I want a doctor who makes me feel slightly guilty every time I go to see him if I'm not taking care of myself.  I think that is my doctor's role.  I am glad that Dr. Jarrett makes me feel sort of like a young boy going to see the principal or like a child knowing that my father is going to be disappointed in me. 

There is good and bad to that approach.  Obviously, for me, the good is that it gives me further motivation to lose weight... especially during those times that I know I am going to go in for a physical.  The bad thing about my not wanting to disappoint him is that is most likely the true reason that I have not had physicals more often over the years.

I am excited for Dr. Jarrett to see me now.  I can't wait to hear what he has to say and to see his reaction.  And, I can only say that you better be proud of me when I see you Dr. J.!  I realize now that I should probably send him this blog.  He might enjoy reading about this journey.  Yeah, I know he probably wishes I would have consulted my physician before making drastic changes to my lifestyle.  But, I think my success will justify my methods.

I apologize that I have not come to see you more often Dr. Jarrett.  I plan to schedule a physical for some time in September.  Not even sure why I chose September.  Maybe I just want a couple more months to lose even more weight.  Maybe it's because that was the month I had my last physical... though it was probably four years ago.  Maybe I want my scores to show how far I have come.  Here's to anticipating my next chat with Dr. Jarrett...


A new low.  Down 1.6 from the "chicken wing" weigh-in!  Two days left in June to work a little more off!

Monday, June 28, 2010


Fell off the P17X program and it cost me.  We finally broke down and had the chicken wing meal that the Marinucci family had been craving for months.  We went to P.T.'s and, while I hate to admit this, it was really really good.  I won't go in to details because talking about food seems to be somewhat contradictory to the purpose of this blog and several readers have complained that they read my blog and end up more hungry after I start talking about food!  The good news is that I have learned to let these bad nights go a lot quicker than I was and I now have extreme confidence that they are small roadblocks that I will overcome quickly.  My only disappointment might be that I would like to stop having them days before my monthly check-ins!  Oh well...

Sunday, June 27, 2010


Already under my July 1 goal by a pound with four days to go!  

Saturday, June 26, 2010


I was a little worried this morning because I was feeling a small weight gain coming on after my dinner last night.  We went to Suehiro's with my Mom, sister, and my family as a sort of "last supper" ritual that we do right before my Mom and sister return to San Diego.  The meal was excellent!  But, of course, my concern was mostly the sodium content in all of those yummy dishes.  I wasn't upset and absolutely had no regrets or negative feelings when I left the restaurant.  Just fully expected to see up to a pound gain and mentally prepared myself for that inevitability.  I mostly was hoping that I would end up still under my June pace for the official Saturday weigh-in.

We rushed from the restaurant to the club in order to get a quick 40 minutes in before it closed and I hit the treadmill pretty hard for those 40 minutes.  We then went to the Riverwalk and walked a decent pace (I think "brisk" would be exaggerating) for another 45 minutes.  This morning, we got up and I got another 55 minutes on the treadmill and some weights.  What's the point?  Well, after those 140 minutes of walking since that salt-laden dinner, I lost another .8 pounds!  Combine that with the fact that I still believe I can feel that little bit of extra water and weight from last night and fully expect to have another good day tomorrow, and you have one really happy heavy man.  And, yes, I am done referring to myself as "fat".  I think I have earned that respect, if only from myself.

So, with five days to go until my monthly check-in, I find myself 1.3 pounds under today's goal and only .6 pounds away from my July 1 goal of 245!  While I have dropped my goals slightly each month and wouldn't consider them overly agressive, though and it's max of 2 pounds per week would disagree, I also don't think of them as being insignificant either.  To actually get under my goal weight two months in a row would be an incredibly positive thing for me.  I am mentally adjusting that goal down to 243 by July 1 with the intent of moving my August 1 goal down from my original 235 to 230!  How exciting is that?!  Okay, well maybe it isn't as exciting to you the readers as it is to me the person who is actually losing that weight.  lol.   Here's to five more solid days in my mini P17X program...

Friday, June 25, 2010


This morning I was down a full pound and now weigh 246.4 (a new low).  I swam 14.5 laps (a new high) in 27 minutes (definitely a new low!).  Just outdo yourself...

Just Outdo Yourself

I have always enjoyed exercising at athletic clubs.   I don't mind working out at home.  But, I prefer being in a gym if given the choice.  I don't feel near as motivated when I am working out alone.  I like being surrounded by fit people.  I know a lot of people who have told me that they don't like working out in clubs.  That they feel intimidated by the healthy people.  That they feel embarassed by their weight, or even their lack of physical ability.  I feel tinges of these emotions at times.  But, I have always found those healthy people far more motivating than prohibiting.  Those people inspire me to work harder and longer.  They are confirmation that all of this hard work pays off in the end.  I like hanging with the healthy people.

But, there is a downside to being surrounded by fit people.  That motivation some times morphs in to stupidity.  There is a certain temptation to lift more weight than one should.  To go a little faster on the treadmill.  To swim a little harder.  It was difficult when I first started lifting weights and I started with so few plates.  I wanted to ease in to it.  But, I also wanted to explain this to all of the healthy people so they knew why there was so little weight over that pin.  A part of me even wanted to move the pin down a few plates when I was finished so the next person on the machine wasn't aware of how wimpy I was. 

This is exactly the emotions that all of those people who avoid the club are referring to.  These are the same thoughts that keep people from getting to the gym.  Luckily, I was able to ignore all of these thoughts those first few days.  And, it didn't take long to realize how silly those thoughts are.  Most of these people aren't paying any attention to me or the weight I am lifting.  The few people who do pay attention are probably simply thinking that it's great to see another individual in the gym trying to make a change. 

This is why I set goals for myself when I exercise.  I track times, miles, weight, laps because these are my progress benchmarks.  These give me goals to shoot for every time I step in to the club.  When I started swimming, that first morning I swam 7.5 laps in 30 minutes... please don't laugh.  As I said before, my swimming skills leave a lot to be desired.  My right leg still doesn't provide much kick because of my bad knee.  My breast stroke looks like a frog with only one good leg.  I swim half a lap freestyle and then the return half using my awkward looking breast stroke.  My head never goes under water... though I vow to fix that.  That first day I took a break every 1 to 2 laps.  I breathed through my mouth and struggled at that.  It is amazing how much I love the water considering how much I really suck when I am in it!  But, I don't care what I look like.  All I know is that I feel good when I get in.  I feel really good when I am swimming.  And, I feel great when I get out of the pool.  I try to ignore Bryan Kelsen in the next lane swimming up and down that pool like a dolphin.  I ignore the older ladies that swim circles around me.  My only concern is trying to beat my previous highs.  Trying to swim more laps.  Trying to breathe better.  Trying to kick better. 

That first week on the treadmill I averaged 2.40 miles per night.  This last week, I had upped that to 3.95 miles per night and I have gone as long as 5 miles!  Today I swam 13.5 laps.  I only took three mini-breaks.  And, I am now breathing through my nose the entire time and struggling less to get air in to my lungs.  I have doubled the weight I am lifting on most of the machines.  I am not worried about the fit people who run on the treadmill like animals.  I am not worried about the swimmers with their perfect form and effortless pace.  I don't care about the guys who put up more weight than I could ever imagine.  All I am worried about is Anthony Marinucci getting stronger, faster, more buoyant, and much more fit.  I am not trying to outdo those fit people.  I am only trying to outdo myself.  Here's to never being embarassed by the fit people and to always trying to outdo yourself... 

Thursday, June 24, 2010


Felt great this morning...  and that was before the .8 drop in weight. 

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

I Put This Off Long Enough...

One of the things Lori has done nightly at the gym that I have avoided are situps.  I wanted to get back in to working out slowly and situps were the last thing that I wanted to take on in the early stages of this journey.  I kept saying "next Monday" I will start.  But, each Monday came and went and I never found myself on the situp bench. 

It's not that I dislike situps.  It's not that I really love them either.  I am rather neutral when it comes to crunches.  And, I really wanted to start and fully understood that my stomach could definitely use them.  It's just that I have become so incredibly paranoid about hurting my stomach ever since my bout with diverticulitis almost three years ago.  I tried lifting free weights about six months after my surgery.  I went with my son and ended up hurting myself trying to be macho while seeing what my "max" was on bench.  At almost 45, I really shouldn't be trying to figure out my current max.  It ended up hurting and scaring me enough that it put a relatively quick end to that round of trying to get back in the gym.  My stomach has felt great this time and I didn't want to hurt it again.  So, I kept walking out of the club and not doing the situps.

On Monday, I decided that it was time to stop talking about it and get busy working on what remains of my gut.  Part of the reason is that I got tired of seeing Lori doing something that I was not.  I have done a good job easing in to new activities over the last three months and have rarely been even a little sore.  Well, situps were different.  I didn't think that I had done too many.  But, my soreness the next day said otherwise.  Not only did my stomach muscles hurt, but rib muscles I didn't know I had hurt as well.  I ended up being so sore that I couldn't do them again last night.  It hurt when I coughed... heck, it hurt when I did pretty much anything.  Tonight, I debated doing them again and made myself get on the bench and start crunching.  Ouch.  There is no better way to describe the soreness I felt.  I managed only about half of the situps I did on Monday.  But, I was happy that I got back on the horse.  I may not feel that way in the morning.

I hope that none of the pain I feel in my stomach has anything to do with any colon issues.  And, I don't believe it does.  But, it feels way too similar and this is the hardest mental block I have had to overcome so far.  But, I will overcome it and this fear will disappear as quickly as the last 50 pounds have! 

By the way, one week to go to hit the 100-day mark of straight days in the gym.  Here's to finding another 15 minutes in my day to accomodate one more activity...


Hello!  Body?  Can you hear me?  I am ready for a big day any time now...

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Fat Penguin Revisited

You may recall the "prom" picture that I posted from my company's annual banquet.  That was my "Fat Penguin" picture and part of my motivation for this blog that you currently read.  This past weekend, Lori and I went to a wedding reception and I decided to take a photo of the two of us to show all of you our progress over the last few months.  The picture on the left was taken on February 26, 2010.  The picture on the right was taken this weekend on June 19, 2010.  By the way, you can click on the pictures below to get a bigger view.

I still get upset to this day looking at the picture on the left.  If not for this blog and the fact that I have so few recent photos of Lori and I together, I might have burned it!  I like the one on the right far better.  I don't love it.  But, it is easier to look at when it is put next to the "Fat Penguin" photo.

I was planning to do a timeline of photos from the fat pics I found recently up through today.  But, I have decided to hold off.  My original intent was always to post that timeline when I finally got under or near 200 pounds.  But, I kept getting asked for photos in person and on Facebook that I finally thought I would just cave in and give the people what they were asking for.  Today, my brother sent me an e-mail telling me what I already knew and suggesting that I hold off on posting all of those pics.  I hope the photo above will suffice in the interim.  I hope that all of you can wait patiently for another few months when I promise to unveil my fat pics and a photo montage that chronologizes my journey and weight loss.  Here's to saying "so long" to the Fat Penguin...


Got .4 pounds back this morning.  Ready for my two day dive any time now... 

Man Boobs

There are countless positive changes in my life as I continue to drop the weight.  One of the most rewarding things is watching my man boobs slowly disappear!  At night, I can see myself in the reflection off the window while walking on the treadmill.  This wasn't a pretty sight the first week as I watched my rather large breasts bounce up and down with each step.  That motivated even more because it upset me so.  After a couple of weeks, I noticed a little less bounce.  Each week, there are subtle, but noticeable, improvements.  Now, they still jiggle, but it is substantially reduced from that first week and another barometer I use to measure my success.

Man boobs are a rather embarassing side effect of being obese and I only share my embarassment because I promised I would.  I remember the first time I heard the song "Man Boobs" by Rex Stetson.  I was listening to the Bob and Tom Show on the way to work and thought this song was pretty darn funny... that is until I realized that the joke was on me!  I still found it funny, albeit a little less funny than I originally thought.  Here is a link to a YouTube version for you to listen to...

Each time I heard this song over the last few years, I thought of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer is creating the "bro".  The debate on the show was whether to name it the "bro" or the "manziere".  Here is a link to another YouTube clip from that show with Kramer trying to sell George's dad on his invention...

At least once a week, usually more often, I do a visual update by checking out my new physique with a Full Monty review in our full-length mirror... and I apologize in advance for the imagery (hopefully, you are reading this long after dinner!).  Inevitably, those man boobs are the first spot on my body that I look at.  I am maybe only a B cup now, so that makes me extremely happy.  I think I can go bro-less without upsetting the general population of the club...  at least nobody has complained so far.  I can't wait to get to that morning when I see those man boobs completely disappear. 

Some time this week, I will be posting a timeline of pics.  They will be even more embarassing than this story about man boobs.  But, I don't care anymore.  This is part of my therapy.  Those pics will fully illustrate why many female friends were likely jealous of me over the years.  But, those pics are no longer me and I will post them so both you, the readers, and I can be reminded of where this journey started.  Here's to looking in to that window and seeing a chest that barely moves with each step I take... literally and figuratively...

Monday, June 21, 2010


Gained 1.4 pounds.  I ate decently yesterday.  But, it still wasn't quite a P17X type of day.

Sunday, June 20, 2010


The heart of graduation/wedding season ended yesterday for us.  While I wasn't able to make the seventh graduation party, we did attend a beautiful reception yesterday evening.  With the 1.4 pounds that I lost this morning, that means I made it through six graduation parties and a wedding reception and lost 5 pounds over those days!  Awesome!  I now find myself 2.4 pounds from my July 1 goal with 11 days to go. 

I take a lot of inspiration from those friends and co-workers around me who have had their own successes.  Yesterday's inspiration was my friend Julie who has lost 40 pounds and looks great!  I would have guessed 50+.  Lori and I always look forward to seeing her and yesterday was no exception.  By the way, Julie, your hair looks awesome as well!

Saturday, June 19, 2010


Down .2 for my official weigh-in.  Down 3 pounds since last Saturday's weigh-in.  After a much better week, I find myself .7 below June's pace to get to 245.0 by the end of the month.  As I said before, I hope to beat that by at least a couple of pounds. 

Friday, June 18, 2010


Still weird to put 240-anything at the top of this post.  I need another pound by tomorrow so that I have a nice round number of "65" to tell folks at the reception when they ask how much I have lost.  I like round numbers...  I may have round up even if I don't lose that pound.  I don't think anyone will mind.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Under 250!!!! 249.4

While it has only been a little over a week since I had 250 in my immediate future, it feels like it has been a month.  I am thrilled that I am finally starting to move down again and that I feel like I have left my funk behind.  And, I am ecstatic at being under 250 for the first time since... well, I honestly have no idea.  It has likely been somewhere around 12 -13 years ago.  Now, I have to fight hard to not go back over the 250 mark.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

This Old House (Body)

While this blog is titled "The Journey To Be The Athlete That Still Exists In My Head", I really don't have any expectations or aspirations of being the athlete from my younger days.  There are moments when I am doing something, like shooting hoops out front, that I actually feel quite young again.  But, then there are days like today where the reality of my age promptly reminds me that I will never be that young man again. 

Yesterday was a great day.  It started with my morning swim of 30 minutes.  In the evening, Lori, my sister Rita, and I went on a brisk hour long walk.  We came home and immediatley took off for the club.  I wanted to still get my heart rate up so I walked on the treadmill for another 27 minutes.  I followed that up with about 20 minutes on the weights... and it just so happened that it was leg night.  When we got home, Lori asked if I wanted to do the yoga DVD that we got with our yoga mats.  A 20 minute yoga routine later and my day o' fun was finally complete. 

I fell asleep easily...  and I will add extremely contently!  This morning was a different story.  I struggled to get up to go for my swim for the first time in three weeks.  As I walked to grab my suit and get ready, every joint in my body ached and creaked and I moved slowly and gingerly across the room.  My 45 year old body was not as content as my new 20 year old mind.  I was sore.  I was tired.  I may eventually get close to my high school weight.  But, I realized today that I will never feel as good as I did back then.  I apologize to my old body for yesterday's punishment.  But, I make no promises that it won't happen again...  and often.

I still managed to make it to the pool this morning.  I stretched a little longer.  I took a little longer to jump in the water.  But, when I was done with my 30 minutes, all of my pain was forgotten.  Here's to remembering that just because I want to be 20 doesn't make it so...


Finally!  A solid move in the right direction and my new low.  Down 2.2 pounds from yesterday and hoping to get under 250 by Saturday.  Hopefully, this number means that I am finally out of my funk. 

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Found The Fat Pics!

While searching an external hard drive for some photos, I came across a directory titled "Fat Pics".  I have been looking for these pictures because I wanted to post them here.  One of the things I have regretted since I started losing weight is that I did not take any "Before" photos.  I kept planning to take them.  But, inevitably I just never got around to it.  Hopefully, that was because I was too busy exercising.  Even if I would have taken some photos at the start of this blog, they wouldn't have been representative of where I started in January.  By the time this blog rolled around, I was already about 10 pounds lighter.

I found two sets of pictures that I had taken within about six months of each other.  These pictures were taken about four years ago, right before I started the first of our weight-loss challenges at work.  I am probably close to my highest weight in both sets of photos.  That puts me at around 318.  And, it shows.  These pictures are almost apalling to me now.  It is almost hard to believe that I looked like that.  It is even hard to believe that I was willing to capture this ugly moment in my life.  Of course, I was taking them to motivate me.  And, of course, it never worked.

I was looking for these photos because I wanted to provide a visual timeline of my progress.  I have some photos at around 295.  I have some photos around 275.  And, I have some photos around 260.  Next week I will take some photos around 250.  That leaves me with the difficult decison of whether or not I can stomach (no pun intended) posting the photos of 315+ on this blog.  I believe that I should.  I believe that it would be beneficial for me and shocking to all of you.  All of you already know what I looked like.  All of you have read how much I weighed.  But, there is something slightly upsetting about letting all of you see me at my worst moment.  Seeing me fully clothed is not quite the same as seeing me only in a pair of shorts!  I still am not sure I can get over the embarassment of how I look in these pics... even if that's not me any longer.  I guess I will make a decision some time over the next week or so.  I will let you know.  Here's to time healing all wounds and helping us so easily forget ugly memories...


Up .4 pounds.

My Psyche... Don't Try This At Home

This blog has been an incredibly cathardic and positive exercise for me and may end up saving my life... or at the very least extending it significantly.  There is so much good that comes of me sharing personal moments, whether they be my elation or my despair.  But, it has had it's occasional downside as well.  Sometimes, it is just better for people not to have glimpses in to your soul.

Last Monday, I went to Mi Ranchito's with my family and my Mom and sister.  Shortly after, I posted my disappointment.  I was not upset that I went to Mi Ranchito's.  I was not even upset that I had planned this exception a month in advance.  I was upset because I planned to eat a lot less than I actually did.  When I gained 4.2 pounds, I was extremely upset with myself and it left me in a funk the entire next day.

Whenever I post my disappointment about eating poorly on this blog, I am immediately bombarded with grief from people for being too hard on myself.  I have heard on several occasions that I need to stay positive or I will gain the weight right back.  I am told that these exceptions are okay.  I am informed that it is normal for my weight to fluctuate.  And, last week, I was even yelled at by my Mother! 

While I am not upset with any of this advice and understand completely that all of these well-wishers are simply trying to be supportive and kind, I will kindly agree to disagree.  I don't ask that anybody stop giving me advice.  I only ask that everyone forgive me for not believing the same theories as the majority of you.  I ask that all of you who care for me try to understand that this philosophy does not work for me.  I know exactly what motivates me.  I know exactly what sets me off course.  I know what makes me tick.  I think everyone is so different that it is hard to suggest diets, exercises, programs, or even attitudes that are best for everyone.  I highly recommend that anyone going through this battle figure out early on what works and is easy for them and that they fully embrace it regardless of what any naysayers say and despite what even a majority might feel.

I wasn't mad at myself for going to Mi Ranchito's.  I had a great time with my family.  I wasn't mad at myself because I had planned this exception.  I was mad at myself because I could have easily enjoyed this exception without losing control.  Yeah, I know it didn't compare to what I used to eat there.  But, I had planned to be so much better.  I could have had 7 or 8 chips.  Instead, I had at least 20.  I ordered water.  But then, I sipped on everyone's margaritas until I probably had close to half of one anyway.  I planned to skip the tortillas.  But, I had one.  The chicken fajitas with some salsa would have been fine.  Even a little sour cream would have been fine.  But, I ended up with a couple good scoops of sour cream and ended up eating a little guacamole as well.  I ate too much beans.  It didn't help that those beans were topped with plenty of cheese.  I ate too much rice as well.  What I have learned from that night is that planned exceptions are still okay.  But, for now, these planned exceptions need to be accompanied with extreme moderation.  My new battle cry...  "plannned exceptions with extreme moderation".

The other thing that upset me is that I think the way I ate lead to a week of small exceptions.  I found myself snacking on little things here and there over the next few days that I wasn't picking at before that meal.  This has always been my concern.  I don't want one bad meal to throw me so far off course that I begin to fall back to old and very hardened habits.  For me, it is okay to want to be close to perfect because I want so badly to break 250 soon.  I want so badly to break 200 not long after that.  This last week made me really nervous and, while today was a solid day, I still feel like I have not quite gotten back to the machine that was chugging along so well just two weeks ago.

Okay, I admit, I was grumpy for a day and a half.  I skipped our pre-golf tourney dinner and went to the club and my Mom was upset that I had not attended something that I wanted to.  Maybe I oversold the dinner and any desire I had to attend too much in my blog.  Maybe my Mom, as Moms often do, thought that her son's absence would upset somebody.  Well, Mom, I promise that nobody missed me.  Nobody even realized I had not attended.  I never heard a thing about the dinner the next day.  I am not whining, I knew this to be the case.  I needed to be at the club more than I needed to be at that dinner that night and I will not apologize for that.  I will not apologize for being grumpy for a day.  If the price of staying with this program is a grumpy mood once every six weeks, then I will gladly accept that consequence.  Believe me, my total count of grumpy days even with these weight-loss episodes will still be lower than 95% of my office or any other office for that matter.  If I didn't write this blog, only a handful of people would even recognize that I wasn't quite my chipper self. 

If I can't handle a "planned exception with extreme moderation", then I will stop planning exceptions.  I am okay with that as well.  While I believe that most people need these nights to keep them from falling completely off the wagon, I do not think this applies to me.  I am perfectly content skipping all exceptions from now until the end of the year if that's what it takes.  Again, I liken it to someone suffering an addiciton.  There is no school of thought that says it is okay to have one drink when you feel like it to keep you from going back to drinking.  If I prove to myself that I can not handle Mi Ranchito's without over-indulging, then I will simply not go back to Mi Ranchito's. 

Those are the decisions I have to make because I WILL NEVER BE 300 POUNDS AGAIN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!  I am angry with myself for waiting 10 years to get busy.  I can live with "better late than never".  But, I can't live with even later. 

That is a glimpse inside my head.  That is a peek at my psyche.  Again, this is what works for me.  Please don't run and hide the next time I am in a grumpy mood.  Please don't be afraid to try to cheer me up and get through this thick-headed skull when I forget about my progress to date.  But also, please try to remember my ultimate goal and how much more important this is than anything as trivial as a bad mood or a golf tourney dinner.  Accept that part of me sharing is, unfortunately, knowing that I may be a little crazy.  Accept that I don't agree that forgetting about 4.2 pounds is the best approach.  Accept that, for me, those 4.2 pounds represent a week of hard work lost.  Finally, please don't try this at home!  Here's to knowing yourself as well as I do me...

Monday, June 14, 2010


The final day of my week of poor decisions cost me 1.2 pounds.  But, as I promised, I remain undaunted this morning and find myself in a great mood for the very first time following a weight gain.  I am chalking up last week as a celebration of passing the halfway mark.  Today I start my 17 days of discipline.  I am calling my program P17X Insanity!  No exceptions for 17 days.  I WILL MAKE MY JULY 1 GOAL!  I promise.  And, like my promise to not be grumpy this morning, I plan to keep it. 

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Not My Best Week

This week has not been my best week.  While I am still confident that I will reach my July 1 goal, I did nothing to help the cause this week.  While Monday night was a "planned" exception, I still found myself eating more than I had originally intended.  That lead to a week of small exceptions...  a couple of Krispy Kreme doughnut holes here, part of a piece of cake there, and a week-ending meal tonight that included chicken wings and Pepsi. 

I honestly... no really, honestly... plan on being okay with tomorrow's weigh-in.  Next week is a new week and I am going to forget about this last one.  Maybe I pushed back the day that I go under 200 by a week or so.  But, in the end, I truly believe that this day will come before the end of the year.  I imagine if I buckle down for the next 18 days that I will easily forget about this week.  So, that is my plan.  No exceptions for 18 straight days.  Two and a half weeks of pure discipline.  

When discussing these kinds of weeks, people inevitably bring up the word "plateau".  I don't believe I have hit a plateau.  If I had been as disciplined as I had been over the last month and still not lost any weight, then that word may have started to sneak in to my vernacular.  But, given the number of moments I had this week, it is way too premature to even entertain such a notion.  I think a plateau is when you are doing everything you can to lose weight and your body is simply not reacting.  That may happen to me in time.  I hope that day never comes until that scale reads 190-something.  Here's to new weeks and having short-term amnesia when it comes to the bad ones... 

What was I talking about again?


Six graduation parties down, 3.6 pounds down with them.  Yesterday, I couldn't wait for the graduation party at Rosario's.  I looked forward to some of my favorites...  mixed green salad, balsamic vinagerette, blue cheese crumbles, Italian/French bread, butter, and lots of roasted garlic.  The steamed carrots and green beans were an added bonus and were excellent.  As a friend said, "Who would of thought we would ever be so excited about vegetables?".  I believe I ate more garlic than I have ever eaten in my entire life...  and that includes one garlic-filled night at the Stinkin' Rose in San Francisco.  I apologize to those near me on the treadmill this morning if my sweat oozed of garlic.

I am really proud of going through graduation season without gaining any weight.  That is no easy task for me.  I thought the season had come to an end last night.  But, last night we were invited to another party next Saturday.  Combine that with the wedding reception we already had scheduled for that night, and I am left with a couple more challenges to round out wedding/graduation season.  Of course, I have proven to myself that these are not as challenging as they once seemed to be.  So, I look forward to the challenge of Joe DeLao's fajitas next weekend.  See you on the microphone Joe!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Back at 251.8!

Back to my low from last Monday.  Amazingly, I am back under my June pace by .3 pounds.  Good start to a new week!

Friday, June 11, 2010


One pound away from getting back to Monday morning's weight.  Yee ha!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Nike Commercial

First, let me start by saying I love my mornings in the pool.  As much as I hate mornings in general, it is rather surprising how much I have taken to getting up a little earlier each morning and waking myself up with a swim in the outdoor pool at the athletic club.  In just a couple of weeks, it has already become habit and something that I look forward to before work.  I was bummed when I realized I would be missing my swim tomorrow morning because I needed to prepare for a meeting in the morning. 

When I was swimming today, I kept thinking how completely peaceful it was in that pool.  How quiet it is in the morning before the hustle and bustle of most people's daily existence begins to take place.  I always feel fantastic when I get out of the water as if I have cleansed away all of the stress in my life and prepared myself for another day.  At that moment today, I thought of the faux Nike commercial from the movie "What Women Want".  I could picture the woman running down that street as she began or ended her day with a date with the road.  In case you haven't seen the scene, you can find it here on Youtube...

Disregarding some of the narrative, that scene perfectly illustrates the feeling I get during and after my swim.  I can't believe how addictive this could be after only five days in the pool!  Like the commercial, the pool calls to me and lets me know it is there for me to let go of all of my stress and leave it there while I happily go about my day.  That pool is fine with our one-sided relationship and will always listen to me.  That pool is now my new best friend.  Here's to finding your own moments that remind you of a Nike commercial...


Down .4.  Only 2.6 more to go to forget Monday.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Tuesday, June 8, 2010


My day by the numbers...

4.2 - Pounds gained this morning.  The number that started my day.

256.0 - My new weight.

0 - Number of laps I swam this morning after waking up with aching knees from too much salt last night.

6.0 - Pounds away from my next major barrier...  the one that I wanted to pass by Saturday.

4.0 - Pounds I need to lose by Saturday to stay on my June pace. 

4 - Days I have left until my next official weigh-in.

71 - Minutes that I walked on the treadmill tonight.  After this morning, I could not wait until tonight and my date with the treadmill and the chance to start working off those ugly numbers that started this day.

5.00 - Miles I walked on the treadmill...  a new high for me. 

1,010 - Calories I burned while walking on the treadmill.

4 - Reps I did of each weight machine... compared to my usual 3.

0 - The number of female family members at the house with Lori, Kelsea, Rita and my Mom at Bunko.  And, thus, the reason that it was easier to spend the night at the club!

1 - The number of male family members at the house.  But, he was so busy watching his boyfriend Kobe play that I can not say for sure whether or not my son actually knew that I had left the house.

2 - Spoonfuls of green chile that I had for dinner.  I love Lori's green chile and had I not seen 256.0 on the scale this morning, I may have had 2 bowls.

1 - Number of Loaf 'N Jug luaus skipped when I went to the club rather than joining my co-workers and vendors for a fun dinner before our annual golf tournament fundraiser tomorrow.  While I usually look forward to this dinner and planned to go, I could not mentally cope with more temptations of drinks and food and I thought I would save our vendors the discomfort of hanging out with moody Anthony. 

7 - Number of co-workers who had not seen me in some time and commented on my new look and weight loss today.

1 - Number of co-workers who asked me if I had the lap band procedure!  Thanks for believing that I could actually do this with willpower and changing my habits.

77/11 - Days/weeks straight that I have been in the gym.

1 - Number of people who said that I was their "hero" today.  After this morning, I actually felt guilty hearing this.  But, it was a nice thing to say and it made me feel good.

57.0 - Pounds lost.  I just wanted to put that in as a reminder in case I forget my accomplishments while wallowing in my self-disgust.

1 - Number of days straight that Vicky promised me she would be on the treadmill starting tonight.  Well, Vicky?  I only expect 99 straight more.

23 - Number of days that I need in the gym to hit 100 straight!  Oh... and also my idol Michael Jordan's number...  every blog should have one obligatory Michael Jordan reference.  Maybe he will reward my perseverance with a personal meeting or autographed basketball.  lol.

256.0 : (

Gained 4.2 pounds.  To think I said I would be disappointed if I gained even .2 pounds.

Monday, June 7, 2010

The Guilt

Tonight, we went to Mi Ranchito's  with my Mom and my sister.  I have been "planning" this exception for a couple of months and knew that we  would be going when they visited.  I couldn't wait to go and enjoy one of my few craving and one of my favorite restaurants.  It did not disappoint.

But, I learned something about myself tonight at Mi Ranchito's.  Even if I "plan" for an exception, it doesn't help me feel any better about it.  I told myself that I would be fine no matter what the scale said to me tomorrow morning.  I believed it when I wrote it.  I believed it when we got to the restaurant.  I semi-believed it as I was eating, but my confidence was waning quickly.  By the time I was done with my meal, I was no longer convinced.  A couple hours and a workout later, I am finally convinced... convinced that I am really not okay with these exceptions, planned or otherwise.  I was lying to myself. 

I am okay with slacking a little bit at a meal.  I am even okay with my last visit to Mi Ranchito's where I just ate chips and had some margaritas.  But, eating like I did tonight no longer works for me.  Maybe it's a short-term thing that will subside once I get under 200 pounds.  But, I am guessing not.  I think maybe I was perfectly content never feeling that full feeling again.  I almost forgot how much I hated that feeling.  Maybe tonight will be one more reminder and help me going forward.

And, the funny thing is that I still ate so little compared to what I used to eat at Mi Ranchito's or any other Mexican restaurant for that matter.  I split the chicken fajitas with Lori.  I only had one flour tortilla.  I had 30-40% of the chips I used to have.  I ate half of the beans and a couple of scoops of sour cream.  I even skipped the margarita and had H2O.  But, I still felt that gluttonous feeling that used to follow me around after many meals in my past. 

I have no clue where I will end up tomorrow morning.  All I know is that if I have gained even .2 pounds, I will be disappointed in myself.  I know.  I can already hear the people shouting, "It's alright!".  I know that I should be able to have these nights and let them go.  I know that attitude would be healthier.  I know that I have proven that I can put this behind me quickly.  I know that most people say they need these days or meals because it makes it easier to be good on the other days.  But, for whatever reason, I do not tick that way... or, again, at least not at this point in my fight.  I would actually like to never see an uptick in my weight ever again from now until the day I go under 200...  and at least a week after that. 

So, I will try to absorb the pain as best I can tomorrow morning.  I will pray to the Saint of Weight Loss tonight for a miracle.  Ironically, Saint Anthony is the patron saint of lost things.  Does losing pounds count?  If so, Saint Anthony, I am asking you to help  me NOT find them.  I will try to forget just how tasty that meal was tonight!  lol.  Here's to planning on not planning anymore "planned" exceptions and limiting the "unplanned" kind as well...


A great start to a new week with an even 1 pound drop.  Yesterday, included another graduation party.  I have now attended five of the six graduation parties we have scheduled and lost 3.4 pounds over that period.  The last four days included a dinner out at Giacomo's, a fundraiser dinner, and a graduation party.  These events no longer make me nervous or anxious and I feel confident that I can go anywhere and still find a way to be good to myself.  Tonight, we are going to Mi Ranchito's with my Mom and my sister.  I have looked forward to this night since I heard that they were coming.  I knew we would have to have dinner at Mi Ranchito's while they were here.  And, I am still planning to enjoy this meal and still hope to do minimal damage to my weight-loss psyche.  But, I will be okay with whatever happens tomorrow because this is my June exception and I am looking forward to a nice meal with my family.  I think I have earned it even if it means prolonging that 250 mark by a day or so!

60 Pounds!

This was supposed to be yesterday's entry.  But, I guess I forgot to hit the "Publish" button.  I was excited on Sunday morning after losing .8 pounds and going over the 60 pound mark!  That put me at 252.8 yesterday morning.

Saturday, June 5, 2010


A nice one pound drop to end this week with the official Saturday weigh-in.  I will obviously not get to my mini-goal of 250 before my Mom arrives this evening.  It doesn't help that she is going to be here at least a day earlier than I expected.  It has felt like a bad week ever since my Memorial Day cookout.  But, when I looked at the numbers, I was pleasantly surprised. 

I lost 2.6 pounds since Monday...  of course the pound this morning helped the cause quite a bit.  That is 1.0 pound ahead of today's goal to hit my June target.  I averaged .65 per day, well over the .37 that I need to average in June.  On top of all those numbers, the last two nights we did not eat at the house.  On Thursday, we went to Giacamo's and last night we went to the Sangre De Cristo Arts and Conference Center Gala fundraiser.  Even more difficult than the usual struggle to eat well when I am out, was the fact that the SDCAC fundraiser included dinner provided by Rosario's... one of my favorites.  Lori and I have both been craving some bread, roasted garlic, and salad from Rosario's.  And, I enjoyed that bread and roasted garlic more than you can imagine.  The salad was excellent so I ate two of them.  Lori and I split her steak and I had some of the shrimp after scraping off as much of the cheese and sauce that I could manage while completely skipping the pasta (though it really did look pretty tasty).  Rounded it out with some steamed carrots and a small glass of wine.  Skipped the dessert.  When it was done, I walked away not feeling like I couldn't wait to untie my tie and loosen my top button of my shirt so I could breathe, which was very typical when attending previous dinners like these.  I ended up a little high on my calories.  But, it was still slightly under 1,500 calories for the day and I still lost a pound this morning and enjoyed one of my favorite things.  I ended up losing 1.4 pounds after two straight nights out!  And, the funny thing is that the thing I loved the most about both dinners was the salad with vinagerette and blue cheese crumbles. 

Next weekend, we have a graduation party that will be held at Rosario's.  I anxiously await another exception of bread and roasted garlic.  In fact, I think I may only eat salad,  bread, and roasted garlic the whole time I am there!  Can't wait.

Friday, June 4, 2010


Under 255.  Increased my laps in the pool by 32%.  Good day so far.

Thursday, June 3, 2010


Years and years ago, shortly after they were introduced, I was one of the many who purchased a yellow LIVESTRONG bracelet to support Lance Armstrong's cause.  As a former semi-serious cyclist, a huge fan of Lance Armstrong, inspired by his battle, and a fan of yellow, I couldn't wait to wear my LIVESTRONG bracelet proudly.  But, sadly, despite my desire, I was not truly living strongly and the bracelet did not fit my fat wrist.  Had there been another fundraiser called LIVEPOOR selling extra large wristbands, I would have been in serious business. 

I guess I was not as inspired by Lance as I thought I was because I have never worn that bracelet... until this weekend.  I came across that bracelet and a few others I have collected over the years... yeah, I am a couple of rubber-plastic wristbands away from being put on the television show "Hoarders".  And, finally, it fit!  I wore it to work today even though it clashed with my outfit.  I think I will keep wearing it because it serves as one more reminder.  One more visual cue.  You know me, I am all about reminders and visuals and I will take inspiration in any form I can find it. 

So, sorry Lance for taking so long to get with the program.  I promise that this bracelet will never be too tight again... save for the slim chance that I stick both of my hands and both of my wrists in to a hive of wasps and am bitten around my wrists until they swell up.  Here's to living strong... and avoiding hornets' nests...


Feels good to be heading in the right direction again.  Dropped 1.2 pounds and recorded a new low on this journey.  Hopefully, tomorrow I will drop below the 255 barrier that I was hoping to see two days ago. 

Started my day off in the pool once again.  What a great way to get the motor going.  Not as eager to get up this morning... a little tired and some achiness from yesterday's swim had already started creeping in to my joints.  While I push myself pretty hard on the treadmill, it doesn't hold a candle to the aerobic workout of swimming.  My hips actually feel a little sore today as well.  I did manage to do more laps than yesterday... yes, another challenge and another number to log in my spreadsheet!  I don't think I will be doing any 70 day streaks in the pool though.  But, I do plan to make it a regular routine, at least during the week.  Today will be a busy day with swimming, yoga, the treadmill, and weights.  Gotta love  it!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Fab Fours... My Version of the Biggest Loser

There are many excellent sites on the internet for tracking calories and exercise and I have tried several of them.  In the end, I settled on for it's ease of use, layout, tools, and it's forum.  The forum is a great place to read similar stories, get fitness tips, and find healthy recipes among other things.  One of the sub-forums is titled Motivation and Support.  This is a great forum for people needing a pick-me-up and words of encouragement.  There are also different groups that have formed to help motivate. 

One of those groups is the Fab Fours.  This group consists of 50+ people, mostly women, who weigh in weekly every Tuesday and set goals over four-week periods.  I joined five weeks ago just after the start of a new four-week period and received the usual warm welcome... even if some of the ladies haven't quite figured out that I am a male.   This is a great group because of the positive energy.  And, while I think I started it long after I needed the same level of encouragement and feedback that I might have wanted three months ago, I still enjoy reading the posts.  I set my goals and then watched as each Tuesday passed and I found myself close to the top of the Biggest Loser list.  That made me smile. 

Last Tuesday, my first four weeks were up.  I checked a couple of times Tuesday night to see if the four-week results had been posted out of curiosity.  They  weren't posted that day.  The next day I checked a couple more times and the results still were not posted.  And, despite knowing that the moderator of this group was going through some personal issues and understanding why she might not get to such a trivial thing as this list, I still  found myself checking a few more times on Thursday.  And then, Friday morning, they were up.  And, there sitting on top of the list with 16.8 pounds and 6.07% lost was marinucciphoto... and, yes, that is yours truly.  Even though I had checked every day, that never clued me in to how much this would mean to me.  For me, this is the closest I will get to the real Biggest Loser and I almost had to laugh at how excited I was to be on top of this list!  I knew I would be close on the pounds because I am still a very large man.  But, I was even more thrilled to be on top of the list for percentage lost!  I am sure that my friend Mindy rolled her eyes and shook her head while whispering "nerd" as I chatted her about my good news minutes later.  But, I was way more tickled about this than any 45 year old man with a life full of great experiences ever should be.  I looked out and saw Bob and Jillian smiling back at me while clapping and nodding their heads as if to say, "nice job".

So, if you ever get over to, look up the Fab Fours and stop in to say hi.  This is a shoutout to all of the members of that group.  Thanks ladies, and those other two guys, for your inspiration and your welcome!  Here's to never falling below the yellow line...

P.S. After swimming for 30 minutes... well, maybe being in the pool for 30 minutes would be more accurate... for the first time this morning, I fully expected to struggle on the treadmill tonight.  But, my knee continues to be a trooper and it survived for 3.80 miles and the weights.  And, of course, it was leg night on the weights tonight as well.  And, finally, thanks Kelsea for getting up this morning and joining me in the pool.  I enjoyed our time together, as always, even if we did a little more talking than we actually did swimming.  See you tomorrow morning young lady.

Good Morning Pueblo!

As many of you know, I have been anxiously awaiting the opening of the outdoor pool at the athletic club.  Finally, it opened over the Memorial Day weekend.  This is a good thing for two reasons.

First, the treadmills that we use are lined up on the outside of the building on the second floor overlooking the pool.  The activity in that pool over the weekend was a great distraction from the exercise and really helped make the time fly by.  Between watching the kids play, watching people going down the big slide, watching the swimmers swimming laps, watching people constantly posturing in an effort to impress the opposite sex, watching the younger kids flirt, analyzing what body I would love to have when this journey is over, checking out the different swimsuit styles, and, oh yeah, maybe a little bit of checking out the women sunbathing, there is always something to keep my mind off of the task at hand. 

Second, I have been planning to get up in the morning to take a swim before I start my day.  Yesterday, I had an early meeting and the pool, much to my chagrin, does not open as early as the club does.  So, I planned to give it a go this morning...  though I wondered if I would be as eager when that alarm went off.  Surprisingly, I woke up five minutes before I planned to get up and was ready and anxious.  All I can say is that jumping in to a semi-warm pool on a moderately warm morning when you are only half awake is EXHILIRATING!  I am no Michael Phelps.  Not even close.  I am a below average swimmer even though I love the water.  I keep my head out of the water when I swim because I have never learned how to breathe and swim... though I plan to teach myself over the coming weeks.  I  still don't have a lot of kick in my right knee.  So, all in all, it is not a pretty sight.  But, I don't care.  I am up.  I am exercising.  I am breathing hard.  I am working hard.  I feel alive. 

Even more important, is that this swim was so exhiliarating that it has helped me get past  my weigh-in this morning.  This morning, I was the same weight as yesterday.  I feel one of my big two-day drops coming on.  But, I can't help but be a little bummed when I don't even see .2 pounds on that scale.  Good Morning Pueblo!  Can't wait until tomorrow morning!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

June 1 Status Update

Today was my second official weigh-in against my monthly goals. Below is a quick status update...

  • On May 1, I weighed 273.0 pounds. My June 1 goal was 258 pounds. This morning I weighed 256.2. I beat my June 1 goal by 1.8 pounds and lost 16.8 pounds in the month of May. This is even better than my total for the month of April when I lost 14.6 pounds!
  • My July 1 goal was 248. Based on me beating my June 1 goal, I will subtract 3 pounds from it and make my new goal 245. Yeah, I know, I didn't quite beat my June 1 goal by the 3 pounds I was hoping for so this new goal now has me losing more than my original 10 I had planned for June.  Add to it the pound I gained this morning and I now am faced with 11.2 pounds that I need to shed this month.  I feel confident that I can do this and would love to beat my monthly goal for a second straight time.  I will adjust my remaining goals accordingly as well. So, they now are July 1 - 245, August 1 - 235, August 16 (my birthday) - 230, September 1 - 225, October 1 - 216, November 1 - 208, December 1 - 201, New Year's Day 2011 - 195.
  • I have lost 56.8 pounds since the middle of January. I have lost 46.4 pounds since the start of this blog. And, I have lost 41.4 pounds since returning from Las Vegas on March 23...  41.4 pounds in 10 weeks!
  • My first night on the treadmill I walked 1.71 miles. Now, I consistently walk for at least 3.7 miles and go over 4 miles at least once or twice per week.
  • I have been to the club 70 straight days!
  • I have attended four graduation parties so far and have lost 2.4 pounds over those days!
  • I lost .5419 pounds per day in May. My goal weight for July 1 would require me to lose .3733 pounds per day.  Internally, I know I can lose another 15 pounds if I stay strong.
I give myself an A for May.  Take away a bad business trip and my bad timing of eating too good the night before my official weigh-in and I think this would have been an almost perfect month.  Maybe my perfect month will be June.


While I am disappointed by the pound I gained yesterday, it was not completely unexpected and I am dealing with these mornings a little better than I was a couple of months ago.  The only crappy thing is that it coincided with my official monthly weigh-in and kept  me from my secret goal of 255.  Still under my official goal of 258. 

Yesterday was a really nice end to a great Memorial Day weekend.  Our cookout last night included tri-tip cooked with lime juice and rock salt (curse my brother Frank and his significant other's Brazilian contingent for turning me on to this incredible taste), a couple of Bud Light Limes, and meeting my daughter's new boyfriend.  It was a great meal with my wonderful family and the best part of it was that I really liked my daughter's boyfriend.  Nice guy with a good sense of humor... kind of a requirement, or necessity, for survival amongst the Marinucci clan.

My full June 1 Status Update will be posted this evening.