Wednesday, April 30, 2014

251.2

Down 1.8 this morning.  You will be proud that I am posting daily as I promised.  You will wait to be even more proud the first day that I gain weight and post when my resolve to post daily is tested.  I am dropping the pace updates from my status.  I am too far behind and it only serves as a negative reminder.  Not that I still don't plan on trying to close the gap.  I will let you know if I ever do.

Starting weight (this time): 278.4
Current weight: 251.2
Change from previous: +0.8 (via no change, -1.0, +1.2, -0.2, +1.8, +0.2, +0.6, -1.8)
Total: (27.2)
Total Days: 86

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Daily

dai·ly

  [dey-lee] 
adjective
1.
of, done, occurring, or issued each day or each weekday

Such a simple word.  Daily.  It means every day.  Not weekly.  Not every other day.  Every day.  Such a basic premise.  Yet, I can't for the life of me seem to be able to abide by my promise to post to this blog and enter my food in myfitnesspal.com daily.  I admit that it is easier for me to post good news than bad.  But, I have found that even on my good days I still struggle to make it a priority to post.  

For example, I actually was finally able to break 250 pounds!  After being disappointed last Wednesday that I was the same weight, I woke up Thursday and weighed in at 249.4!  I was thrilled.  Yet, I still didn't find the time to blog.  That night we went to Texas Roadhouse and I did really good.  No, really! I did.  I was intent, as always, to not go back over 250 after breaking it.  I walked out of the restaurant proud of myself.  Then I gained 1.2 pounds the next morning.  

The weekend wasn't much better and included me making a bad choice on Saturday night and drinking and eating far too much at Buffalo Wild Wings.  Last night, more bad as we went to Colorado Springs to see Lori's sister's new house and ended up at Red Robin.  The worst part was that I had way too many calories and I didn't even enjoy my meal.  Ultimately, there is no worse feeling than eating too many calories and not thoroughly enjoying them.

The net results since I last wrote is a gain of 2.6 pounds and leaves me at 253.0.  The bad news is that I haven't done much over the last three weeks.  The good news is that despite all of this I remain surprisingly positive and still feel good about where I am at and where I will be over the next couple of months.  Tomorrow is a new day... which means a new blog... and new entries in MFP.  Daily.

Here's to dictionary.com...

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Update

Not sure why I haven't been as good about blogging as the last time.  I think about it daily, even thinking of topics and things I want to say throughout the day.  But, I have yet to make it a daily priority.  While I don't find that to be a critical failure, I still believe that trying to fit this in to my day is vital to my success.  So, I will keep trying.

The last five days have been an odd mix of emotions and can be broken down in to the following three chapters, all of which would have been better in small chunks as three separate blog posts.

Happy And Ashamed
This sums up Thursday and Friday and the subsequent weigh-ins.  There was a valid reason I didn't blog on Friday.  I was upset.  After two decent days, I had actually gained .4 pounds.  On Thursday, rather than going out for dinner as originally planned, Lori and I decided to be really good and try to reverse the trend of doing decently and not seeing any results.  So, we decided to skip dinner, work out, and only eat a salad.  The result?  I woke up the next day weighing exactly the same as I had on Thursday!  And, for the first time since renewing my journey, I was not able to keep a positive attitude.  I went to work angry and upset and my weight had an impact on my mood the entire day.  

Part of me was wondering if I wasn't getting enough calories.  Part of me didn't give a shit.  So, when I saw some leftover food from a meeting at the office, I decided I was going to eat.  At the very least, I was going to up my calories slightly.  In the battle that raged in my head, 'slightly' gave in to 'I don't give a shit' and I consumed a plate with a fried chicken breast patty, ranch dressing, some buttered pasta, a salad with blue cheese crumbles, and some green beans.  When I was done with that, I went back for seconds.  I felt full and sick and remembered that feeling I hadn't felt in weeks.  Rather than reacting to that horrible feeling and making a dinner adjustment, I ended up eating poorly at a fast food restaurant.  By the time I went to bed, I was truly ashamed at myself.  

On Saturday morning, I woke up and prepped myself for more disappointment.  Instead, I stepped on the scale and was down .8 pounds to a new recent low of 251.4!  I still felt full and that pain in my stomach was like a lump of shame.  But, somehow it was much easier to take after finally losing weight.  Not sure if I needed the calories.  Not sure if it was just some weird timing.  I sat there looking at the scale, happy and ashamed.

Angelo's
On Saturday, Lori and I woke up and took a long walk around the neighborhood.  Then we went to some stores and did some more walking.  After dinner, we went down to the Riverwalk and decided to walk again.  After our walk, we decided to enjoy the beautiful evening with a beer out on the patio at Angelo's.  

Here's the problem with that plan.  My one beer turned in to three.  In addition, just because you decide to ONLY have beer at Angelo's, doesn't mean that everyone around you is only going to have beers and that the kitchen is going to stop cooking food.  So, we sat there smelling every garlic knot, calzone, and pizza being cooked and delivered.  We watched those pizzas go by and saw all of the tables enjoying them.  And, after about 90 minutes, we gave in to the enticing aromas and ordered a couple of pieces of pepperoni pie.  

When we were done, we decided we needed another walk!  The next day, I paid for my weakness and gained 1.6 back and weighed in at 253.0.

Back On Track
Sunday was good.  Not great.  Just good.  On Monday, I woke up at 252.8.  Monday was much better.  Monday was the best all-around day I have had in a week.  This morning I lost 2.4 pounds and found myself at a new recent low of 250.4 and close to breaking 250.  I have said that before.  So, I won't get overly confident.  My excellent day today could result in seeing a 240-something number or could result in me gaining a little bit.  But, I promise not to do anything too shameful.

Here's to blogging daily so that blogging my updates doesn't take so bloody long...

Starting weight (this time): 278.4
Current weight: 250.4
Change from previous: (1.8) (via -0.8, +1.6, -0.2, -2.4)
Total: (28.0)
Total Days: 78
Ahead/(Behind) Pace: (17.5)

Thursday, April 17, 2014

252.2

Hmmmmmmmmm...

Another fairly decent day with no result.  This morning was supposed to be the day that I went sub-250.  Instead, I have gained .4 over the last two days.  Need to take a hard look at those two days and switch something up.  Looks like the storm has subsided.  We will hope that we are simply in the eye of the storm and things are quiet for a bit.

Starting weight (this time): 278.4
Current weight: 252.2
Change from previous: +0.4
Total: (26.2)
Total Days: 73
Ahead/(Behind) Pace: (16.8)

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

251.8

Just one of those days.  Exercised for 55 minutes... not including the walk to the gym.  Ate fairly decently.  Did all the same stuff I have done for three straight days with a different result.  I fully expect to see a better number tomorrow morning.  Til' then...



Starting weight (this time): 278.4
Current weight: 251.8
Change from previous: no change
Total: (26.6)
Total Days: 72
Ahead/(Behind) Pace: (15.9)

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

251.8

In my best Matthew McConaughey voice...  alright, alright, alright!  Down 1.4 from yesterday and down 6 pounds in three days after ending my bad week and starting my three weeks of renewed focus.  Inching closer to that next barrier of 250.  After falling behind my pace by 19.9 pounds, I have narrowed that gap to 15.4 pounds.  This is my lowest weight since December 15, 2012.

Starting weight (this time): 278.4
Current weight: 251.8
Change from previous: (1.4)
Total: (26.6)
Total Days: 71
Ahead/(Behind) Pace: (15.4)

Monday, April 14, 2014

253.2

Day 2 of the storm and a renewed attitude.  Down another pound and Tuesday through Friday are now a distant memory.  Now time to get under 250 and stop talking about it!  Tomorrow WILL be a new low... this time around.

Starting weight (this time): 278.4
Current weight: 253.2
Change from previous: (1.0)
Total: (25.2)
Total Days: 70
Ahead/(Behind) Pace: (16.3)

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Tough Week

Since I last blogged, my progress hasn't gotten much better.  The last five days included a dinner at Mi Ranchito and a relaxing night of pizza and beers on the riverwalk at Angelo's.  I am in a funk.  I am not sure what has happened over the last 11 days ever since getting down to 253.  Not sure what the cause of my general malaise has been.  Maybe I needed a few days mentally.  Maybe that is just a lame excuse for my bad decisions.  Either way, enough is enough.

My weight on Wednesday was 254.0, up .8.  I gained 2 more pounds after Mi Ranchito and weighed 256.0 on Thursday.  That weight was actually higher than what I weighed when I last returned from Chicago.  On Friday morning, the damage was .8 and left me at 256.8.  Angelo's cost me another pound.  So, yesterday morning, I weighed 257.8, higher than when I left for Chicago the last time!

I woke up yesterday and realized that this new positive-energy-never-get-angry-at-myself-take-it-all-in-stride attitude wasn't cutting it.  So, I am going back to the Anthony that doesn't let Anthony take these bad weeks in stride.  That Anthony would be kicking this Anthony's ass right now!  Instead of calling it a "week of exceptions", I am calling it "The Lull Before The Storm".  Yesterday, I decided that it was time to devote three straight weeks to NO exceptions.  It's time to buckle down and be perfect for a stretch of time.  It's time for a storm.  It's time for a three week storm.

This morning I woke up down 3.6 pounds from yesterday.  I am back to 254.2 and glad that the week of exception didn't cost me more than a few days and a little more than a pound.  And, glad that I am still committed to this journey.

By the way, for those who have read this blog for the past few years and make an immediate association with Mi Ranchito and me gaining weight, well, you are correct.  That connection exists. But, after some recent poor experiences there, you will be happy to know that I don't plan on returning.  The service, food, and most importantly, margaritas, have fallen off drastically.  That should be good thing for my weight loss... until I find a new Mexican restaurant.

Here's to the impending storm...

Starting weight (this time): 278.4
Current weight: 254.2
Change from previous: +1.0 (via +0.8, +2.0, +0.8, +1.0, -3.6)
Total: (24.2)
Total Days: 69
Ahead/(Behind) Pace: (16.8)

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Up .2... Walking In Place

So, after a weekend of connectivity issues and replacing a router, the blog is back.  And, based on the .2 pound change since Thursday, my five days seems uneventful at the very least, and lacking any progress at the worst.  Like walking on a treadmill, lots of things are moving, but little has changed.  So, here's a recap...

Thursday, April 3 - "Grazing" - After a trip to San Diego, my Mom was back in town and wanted to have dinner with us and catch us up on California stories.  To avoid a Mi Ranchito or Texas Roadhouse catastrophe, my wife suggested we just pick up Collette's.  While not great, a sandwich at Collette's and being good the remainder of the day should be at least good for a break even day.  She agreed and I was confident that this dinner was not going to set me back! 

I ordered the sandwich and then asked my son if he wanted to order an extra order of pasta with meatballs because I wanted one bite of the pasta and one meatball.  My first bad addition.  So, I ate my sandwich.  Then had my bite of pasta and my meatball.  And, then we sat at the kitchen table and listened to stories... and I started grazing.  First it was a couple more bites of pasta.  Then it was some small chunks of bread I gave to the dog while also taking matching bites.  Then it was the chiles I love so much, first on bread and then on Dorito's that my son had gotten out and left on the table. Then some more pasta.  I grazed my way to a 1.6 pound gain.  Sure, better than Mi Ranchito, but still less than desirable.  Grazing is a bad habit.  Next time I need to remove myself from the table and listen to the stories elsewhere.

Weight on Friday, April 4 - 254.6

Friday, April 4 - "The Exception" - As far back as Lori's visit to Chicago, we had talked about going out for margaritas and chips and salsa.  Lori continued to talk about getting a margarita each weekend after that and I kept pushing it off.  Not because it didn't sound excellent.  But, because I didn't want to slow my momentum.  These are the exceptions I have talked about that would be fine when I am sub-220.  But, not so fine at 250+.  But, I realized that I had put it off long enough and I accepted the exception and everything that would come with it. 

So, dinner on Friday was chips and salsa, some guacamole, and some bean dip along with some margaritas.  The night was excellent.  We ran in to some friends we hadn't seen in a few months and had a great time.  And, I gained another pound.  It was worth it.  Now, I can go another 6-8 weeks before we do it again and it's out of both of our systems.  Exceptions by choice are much easier to handle than the gain from mindless "grazing".

Weight on Saturday, April 5 - 255.6

Saturday, April 5 - "Sam-ples" - Not sure what happened on Saturday.  We weren't horrible. At worst, I expected a slight loss.  But, it was another day filled with a lot of grazing and the worst thing were the samples at Sam's Club.  I had stopped eating the samples when I was being really good.  I haven't gotten back to that discipline yet.  Saturday ended up being the ultimate "walking in place" kind of day.

Weight on Sunday, April 6 - 255.6

Sunday, April 6 - Three days of exceptions, only one planned.  Enough was enough.  Sunday was a solid day and I was back in the groove.  Good days are pretty boring... so, I won't bore you.

Weight on Monday, April 7 - 254.0

Monday, April 7 - Another pretty decent day.  Zzzzzzzzzz....

Weight on Tuesday, April 8 - 253.2

So, I have been all over the place and find myself right back where I last left you.  Which means I wasted five days and fell even further behind my pace.  But, I stayed positive, I enjoyed a night out with Lori, and I am ready to get busy again no worse for the wear.

Here's to walking in place...

Starting weight (this time): 278.4
Current weight: 253.2
Change from previous: +0.2 (via +1.6, +1.0, no change, -1.6, -.8)
Total: (25.2)
Total Days: 64
Ahead/(Behind) Pace: (13.3)

Thursday, April 3, 2014

253.0

And, I'm back!  Limited my snacking and was finally rewarded with a new low and my lowest since December 17, 2012.  Time to get busy on getting under 250 again.

Starting weight (this time): 278.4
Current weight: 253.0
Change from previous: (1.8)
Total: (25.4)
Total Days: 59
Ahead/(Behind) Pace: (10.6)

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

254.8... X2

Oops, forgot to post yesterday.  In the end, it mattered little as I was the exact same weight two days in a row and only .4 lower than Monday's weigh-in.  Hmmm.... need to make some adjustments. 

While I joked about doing better in Chicago, there is some truth to it.  And, I think I know the culprit.  When staying in a hotel, that trip to the store or to the restaurant was the pivotal moment where I had to make a good or bad choice.  But, once made, it was over with.  Typically, I was making very good choices.  Once I was back in the hotel, barring ordering from room service, my temptation options were limited.  However, my house is a different thing altogether.  The pantry still has Dorito's, Cheeto's, nacho chips.  The refrigerator still has guacamole, cheese, soda.  The kitchen table has a small glass bowl on it filled with M&Ms and Hershey Kisses.  The hotel didn't have any of these things.

So, today I did much better with all of those sneaky saboteurs and anticipate a better weight tomorrow morning.  I need to figure this out quickly... or hope they send me away on business again.  LOL.

Starting weight (this time): 278.4
Current weight: 254.8
Change from previous: (0.4) and No Change
Total: (23.6)
Total Days: 58
Ahead/(Behind) Pace: (11.9)