Update

Not sure why I haven't been as good about blogging as the last time.  I think about it daily, even thinking of topics and things I want to say throughout the day.  But, I have yet to make it a daily priority.  While I don't find that to be a critical failure, I still believe that trying to fit this in to my day is vital to my success.  So, I will keep trying.

The last five days have been an odd mix of emotions and can be broken down in to the following three chapters, all of which would have been better in small chunks as three separate blog posts.

Happy And Ashamed
This sums up Thursday and Friday and the subsequent weigh-ins.  There was a valid reason I didn't blog on Friday.  I was upset.  After two decent days, I had actually gained .4 pounds.  On Thursday, rather than going out for dinner as originally planned, Lori and I decided to be really good and try to reverse the trend of doing decently and not seeing any results.  So, we decided to skip dinner, work out, and only eat a salad.  The result?  I woke up the next day weighing exactly the same as I had on Thursday!  And, for the first time since renewing my journey, I was not able to keep a positive attitude.  I went to work angry and upset and my weight had an impact on my mood the entire day.  

Part of me was wondering if I wasn't getting enough calories.  Part of me didn't give a shit.  So, when I saw some leftover food from a meeting at the office, I decided I was going to eat.  At the very least, I was going to up my calories slightly.  In the battle that raged in my head, 'slightly' gave in to 'I don't give a shit' and I consumed a plate with a fried chicken breast patty, ranch dressing, some buttered pasta, a salad with blue cheese crumbles, and some green beans.  When I was done with that, I went back for seconds.  I felt full and sick and remembered that feeling I hadn't felt in weeks.  Rather than reacting to that horrible feeling and making a dinner adjustment, I ended up eating poorly at a fast food restaurant.  By the time I went to bed, I was truly ashamed at myself.  

On Saturday morning, I woke up and prepped myself for more disappointment.  Instead, I stepped on the scale and was down .8 pounds to a new recent low of 251.4!  I still felt full and that pain in my stomach was like a lump of shame.  But, somehow it was much easier to take after finally losing weight.  Not sure if I needed the calories.  Not sure if it was just some weird timing.  I sat there looking at the scale, happy and ashamed.

Angelo's
On Saturday, Lori and I woke up and took a long walk around the neighborhood.  Then we went to some stores and did some more walking.  After dinner, we went down to the Riverwalk and decided to walk again.  After our walk, we decided to enjoy the beautiful evening with a beer out on the patio at Angelo's.  

Here's the problem with that plan.  My one beer turned in to three.  In addition, just because you decide to ONLY have beer at Angelo's, doesn't mean that everyone around you is only going to have beers and that the kitchen is going to stop cooking food.  So, we sat there smelling every garlic knot, calzone, and pizza being cooked and delivered.  We watched those pizzas go by and saw all of the tables enjoying them.  And, after about 90 minutes, we gave in to the enticing aromas and ordered a couple of pieces of pepperoni pie.  

When we were done, we decided we needed another walk!  The next day, I paid for my weakness and gained 1.6 back and weighed in at 253.0.

Back On Track
Sunday was good.  Not great.  Just good.  On Monday, I woke up at 252.8.  Monday was much better.  Monday was the best all-around day I have had in a week.  This morning I lost 2.4 pounds and found myself at a new recent low of 250.4 and close to breaking 250.  I have said that before.  So, I won't get overly confident.  My excellent day today could result in seeing a 240-something number or could result in me gaining a little bit.  But, I promise not to do anything too shameful.

Here's to blogging daily so that blogging my updates doesn't take so bloody long...

Starting weight (this time): 278.4
Current weight: 250.4
Change from previous: (1.8) (via -0.8, +1.6, -0.2, -2.4)
Total: (28.0)
Total Days: 78
Ahead/(Behind) Pace: (17.5)