255.2!

Four graduation parties down, 2.4 pounds lost.  Yesterday, we went to two parties, including one that did not disappoint me with a full buffet of some of my favorites as I fully expected.  There were several things that tempted me and I could actually feel my arm and hand wanting to reach out and put them on my plate.  But alas, this desire to live longer and healthier is far more exciting than the taste of bacon, biscuits and gravy, or green chile over eggs could ever be.  So, my plate was filled with steamed broccoli, a medley of fresh fruit, and a salad with an Italian dressing and a few blue cheese crumbles.  My lone exception was a chocolate covered strawberry which I ate after knocking about half of the chocolate off.  The best part is that those cravings I had in line went away as soon as I started eating what I had put on my plate and realized that it all  tasted so good still and tasted even better because of the elation that comes with making such choices. 

I feel great at these parties.  I am standing tall and basking in a sea of compliments.  In the end, the compliments are less of a driver than they used to be.  Now, I am driven by that feeling of putting on nice clothes and feeling comfortable as I walk out the door.  I no longer have to go through five to ten shirts trying to decide what I feel comfortable in while turning to Lori and asking "does this look okay?" each time.  Yes, ladies, some of us men do this as well!  I laugh when I read this sentence.  I wasn't even worried about looking good... the question was whether or not I looked okay.  How sad.

And the icing on top of the cake (okay, bad analogy in a weight-loss blog) is that I no longer feel that bloated whale of a feeling after eating too much food.  I don't sit at the table cursing myself for what I just did.  I don't have to unbutton my shorts or pants so I can breathe.  I no longer feel uncomfortable.  I eat, stand up, and then bounce around the party looking to find and catch up with old friends with no desire of sitting throughout the entire party.  In fact, even counting my travels to Casper where I didn't eat as well, I have not felt that disgusting feeling of complete gluttony in such a long time that I am forgetting what it feels like! 

Tomorrow marks my official monthly check-in against my monthly goal.  I now only need .2 pounds to gain those three pounds back that I missed last month and go back to my original goals.  That will be 18 total pounds in May which will actually exceed my April loss of 14.6 pounds!  How incredible to not only keep up that excellent pace but to actually exceed it! 

My June goal is 10 pounds, or 245.  Secretly, between you and me, I now hope I can lose close to 15 pounds and get myself down to 240 by July 1.  Then I can celebrate on the Fourth of July with that All-American favorite, soy burgers on the grill!  lol.  Here's to taking complete control of your life and never having to worry about small obstacles such as graduation parties...

256.0

Another day, another .4 pounds.  As I told my brother,  I have become perfectly content with .4 per day... with an occasional 1+ once a week thrown in!   I am now 6 pounds away from 250...  and my brother letting me talk to him again!

256.4!!

Great start to my Memorial Day weekend with a 1.6 pound drop this morning for my "official" Saturday weigh-in!  I had a feeling it was coming, though I was a day off.  I just know my body that well anymore.  That puts me exactly 3 pounds below my goal weight for today and back on my original pace from two months ago!  I would love to lose 1.4 pounds over the next three days to get to 255 on June 1.  I have lost 16.6 pounds since May 1 and am on pace to do as well this month as I did last month.  More importantly, this puts me officially more than half way to 200 pounds...  56.6 pounds lost, 56.4 pounds to go!  With a full weekend of house projects in front of me, I should stay plenty busy.  The two graduation parties on Sunday represent my biggest challenge between now and Tuesday.  Hope all of you have a great Memorial Day weekend! 

258.0

Another .4 pounds down...  only.  I guess I was wrong.  But, I will take it.  Today, I am already at my June 1 goal with four weigh-ins to go.  Yay!  This time I will get to lower my future goals instead of raising them!

Long Day

Long day at work today and I got home late again tonight.  Debated not going to the club and resting when I got home.  Plus, I still had to log in from home and  do a little more work.  But, it's really not about the streak any longer.  Working out has become more than routine.  I actually feel a slight addiction now.  And, to tell you the truth, I need to be in that club because it helpse me to let go of some of those same stresses that made me think of skipping it in the first place.   Good decision too.  I felt so much better when I came home after working out than I did when I got home from work. 

On that note, I am going to say goodnight!  Here's to actually craving working out more than craving the food that got me here in the first  place...

258.4

Down .4 pounds.  But, I have a good feeling that I have a big drop or two coming soon!

Random Thoughts

Just some miscellaneous wanderings of my mind...

-  I really enjoy getting on the treadmill each night and entering my weight.  It is one more reminder of my success.  And, it takes a lot less time to push those buttons up to 259 than it is to get them to 300.  Of course, the downside of this is that my calories burned decrease as well.  So, last night I started upping the elevation to try to make up for it.  Tonight I was back over the 2 to 1 ratio of calories to distance.

-  I felt great on the treadmill tonight.  The last two nights have been as good as I have ever felt over consecutive nights.  We were running late to the club because I got home a little late from work.  So, when I got off the treadmill I had to do some speed training on the weights.  I don't believe I ever caught my breath from the time I stopped the treadmill.   Nice!

-  This morning, my buddy Dave pointed out to me that I had fibbed on my blog last night.  While I had resisted the pizza at yesterday's training class, he pointed out that I did have a couple of chicken wings.  Well, he's accurate.  I did eat two chicken wings...  the skinny part mind you, not the drummettes.  Yes, I made the decision that the chicken wings weren't relevant to my story about not eating any pizza... even though I love wings just as much.  But, in the interest of full disclosure, I should probably tell that part of the story as well.  Yeah, it probably lessens my moral victory slightly... I wasn't perfect.  But, my weight loss this morning made that moral victory feel even more rewarding.  Okay, I feel better.  I still feel proud of my willpower despite the oversight.

-  Tonight my son turned me on to my new weight-lifting song, "Lose My Mind" by Young Buck.  For those with sensitive sensibilities, I recommend not searching for it.  But, that's one hell of a motivational song!  I wonder if they have a PG version for me?!

-  I love lightning!  Always have.  Tonight was awesome cranking away on the treadmill while watching the sky light up with bursts of energy.  The combination gave me chills!

-  Last night was 63 straight days in the club.  That's nine straight weeks for those of you who have Leana's math skills!  lol.

-  I think my Kohl's reference went over like a lead balloon this weekend.  Let me explain.  If you read the original post of this blog, then you know that this journey and this blog began the night I was with my son shopping for clothes at Kohl's.  Kohl's does not sell anything over size 2X...  so they did not sell to me that night.  This weekend, I bought a couple of shirts at Kohl's and was so excited to return there for the first time since that night.  It was definitely a bit of redemption.  I wanted to buy a whole rack of different colored polos but opted to settle for one.  No point in spending too much money on clothes right now.  Soon, that XXL will no longer fit me either.  I thought my drive-by posting would be funny and a lot of you would get the reference.  Judging by the single response that I got from my boss, I guess not.  Oh well...

-  Despite being on that last belt loop, my pants started slipping off my waist again today at work.  So, tonight I begin carving hole #7.  Yes, I found two belts in the closet that fit me.  But, for now, I can't stomach switching belts and giving up on my old friend. 

-  I am excited about the upcoming visit from my Mom and my sister, Rita.  I am excited to see them.  And, I am excited for them to see me.  I have less than two weeks until that visit and I would love to get under 250 before they get here.  Not sure if I can get there.  But, I firmly believe I will be within shouting distance.

-  Tonight a friend posted on Facebook that I should have been on The Biggest Loser and that I could have won.  Let me just say that the recent contestants have been so overweight that I am glad that I would likely not even be heavy enough to participate.  But, I also have to secretly admit that I often pretend I am a contestant and that Bob and Jillian are barking out orders at me when I am on the treadmill.  I keep thinking if Michael can work out that hard at 500+ pounds, I can surely do it at half that weight!  Tonight, Bob and Jillian were especially hard on me.

Thank you for sharing this stroll through the inner workings of my mind.

258.8

Got that pesky .4 pounds back from yesterday plus an additional .6 to go with it.  Wasn't confident about the weigh-in this morning.  So, this was great news.  My Mom and my sister come to visit around June 8 and I have now set a mini-goal to get under 250 by the time they show up!

No Pizza For Me, But Thanks!

Some of you may remember back to the last time we did an Excel training session at the office and I could not control my urge to have some Manahattan's pizza that had been provided for the class.  That night, I was irritated at myself and couldn't wait until the next training session so that I could prove that it was the last time.  Well, today was that day.  My first test of a promise I made two months ago.  Once again, the lunch was pizza.  And, while Little Caesar's is not quite as tempting as Manhattan's, pizza is pizza.  I brought my chicken with me to the class to make it a little easier to resist the pizza.  The pizza still looked good.  I managed to take my seat without grabbing any.  It still looked good when my co-worker next to me grabbed a couple of slices in the middle of the class.  But, I stayed seated.  It even looked appetizing when I carried the remainder of the cold pizza upstairs to the kitchen for the rest of the office to enjoy.  But, I looked one more time and then left the kitchen... with my leftover green beans in hand for my afternoon snack!  So, thank you Jim for hosting another great training class.  Thank you Loaf 'N Jug for providing the lunch... even if I didn't have any.  Thank you Anthony for just saying no.  I have passed one of my tests.  Oh, and Jim, can a brother get a salad once in awhile?

This is similar to the feeling I now have after my last business trip.  I can't wait to travel again so I can prove that I can do well on the road.  Hopefully, that day will come soon.  I went through the same emotion at the graduation party we attended on Saturday after not doing as well as I had planned.  The great thing was that I got the chance the very next day to prove that I could overcome that challenge and did. 

Tonight, while I watched the first half of the Biggest Loser finale, I realized the reality contest that I was bested suited for... The Biggest Crybaby!  I don't watch this show religiously like my wife and I will explain that on another night.  But, I love the finale.  I love seeing the transformations and the stories are always so positive and so touching.  Obviously it means even more to me right now.  Not sure if is my age or having a common battle, but I cried at just about every story that they showed for each contestant.  By the time I left for the club I was a wreck.  Two of the contestants even found each other.  Can you imagine losing 40-50% of your body, extending your life, changing your health, and at the same time falling in love?!  How incredible.  I hope they have a full life of telling stories about how they met to their little healthy children.

I walked 4 miles exactly tonight!  As far as I remember, that marks the first time I have done 4-plus miles twice within a four day span.  I would like to think it was purely because I was feeling pretty good tonight despite not feeling great when I got home.  But, I imagine that part of the equation has at least some component related to my weight-gain this morning.  Worried about tomorrow as well because this was my second straight day of too much sodium.  I guess I will know shortly.  Here's to all of the Biggest Loser contestants who have completely changed thier lives...  good on ya...

259.8

I had a feeling it was coming.  Too much salt yesterday.  Plus, I was due.  Now, I just need to lose a couple of pounds over the next two days!  

A Day In The Life

Several people have asked me on Facebook, myfitnesspal.com, and face to face what I  am doing to lose weight.  I imagine that most of them know all of the things that I am doing and are just asking as a reminder and our simply curious.  But, I also think there are some who are looking for that "magic" pill, drug, diet, or program and want to know why I have been able to shed this much weight this quickly.  Well, there is no "magic" pill.  For me, it has been a simple formula.  I eat better.  I eat smaller quantities.  I eat more often.  And, I exercise.  But, in the interest of sharing my secret, I thought I would detail a typical day in the life of Anthony.  At the very least I will have a post to point people to when they ask the question, "What are you doing?".  Here is what I did today.  While each day differs slightly, this is a pretty good representation.

Food
At work...
Yoplait Light Fat Free Yogurt - I start EVERY day with a yogurt, usually around 8:30 A.M. during the week and whenever I wake up on the weekends.
Strawberries, 5 - Around 10:00 A.M., I have some kind of fruit or Kashi Go Lean hot cereal... some times I mix the two (crazy, I know!).
Kuner's Cut Green Beans, 1/2 can - Around 11:15 A.M., I have some kind of vegetable.  Typically, I eat canned green beans or carrots, or broccoli or cauliflower that I cooked the weekend before.
Chicken of the Sea Pink Salmon, full can - Around Noon, I have 4 ounces of chicken, fish, or imitation crab.
Kuner's Soutwestern Pinto Beans with Jalapenos, 1/3 can - Around 12:45, I have some beans (I alternate between these, black beans, or chili beans with no salt) or another fruit.  Typically, I will alternate days with Kashi Go Lean, Fiber One bars, or beans to avoid getting too much fiber (never thought I would have that problem!).
Creamy Peanut Butter - Some time in the afternoon I will usually have an orange or a tablespoon of peanut butter. 
For dinner...
Salad, 1/2 cup - Most nights I have a salad, but not always.  Usually we have a pre-packaged salad mix and mix it 50/50 with some spinach leaves.
Pompeian Balsamic Vinegar, 1 tablespoon - I no longer use salad dressings... other than those exceptions when I order Ranch dressing at a restaurant.  Lucky for me, I really like plain balsamic vinegar on my salad with nothing else.
Strawberries, 6 - Or some other fruit or vegetable.
Grilled chicken, 6 ounces - Again, we alternate between grilling, baking or slow-cooking in a crockpot chicken, fish, pork, lean ground turkey, or shrimp. 
Panda Express Orange Sauce - On occasion we will add something to the meat and have found three great sauces made by Panda Express - Mandarin, Orange, and Kung Pao.  All of them are tasty and, if used sparingly, not that bad nutritionally.
After workout...
Optimum Nutrition Whey Protein, scoop - I added this about three week ago to get my calories up and to ensure that I was getting enough protein for my workouts.  It has made a world of difference in how I feel.
Metamucil, orange flavor, 1 tablespoon - This became a daily routine when I went through my issues with diverticulitis and I mix it in with my protein to make a creamy good orange-chocolate smoothie that I pretend is as good as the large chocolate shake that I used to get at McDonald's!
Sunkist Oven Roasted Almonds, 6 - Gotta have almonds... which I have actually grown to enjoy after disliking them for most of my life.
Kuner's Cut Green Beans, 1/2 can - Depending on how I feel and how many calories I have consumed, I may add another fruit or vegetable as I did tonight.
To drink...
Green tea - I drink at least 16 ounces of green tea daily at work and more at night if we have it with dinner.
Water - I drink a minimum of 80 ounces of water daily and usually am above 96 ounces. 

Exercise
Treadmill - I walk on the treadmill a minimum of 50 minutes daily without exception...  62 days in a row now.
Weights - I alternate between legs/chest and arm workouts every night.  I decided last week to start taking off one day a week from the weights... that has yet to happen. 
Other activities - As time and energy permit!

That was today.  What is common amongst my days is that I try to eat 6-10 times each day.  I watch my fiber.  I try to get my calories between 1,200 to 1,500 and struggle despite feeling like I am always eating and never that hungry.  I try to keep my fat grams low.  I try to get my protein numbers pretty high.  I watch my sodium pretty closely because of the way I feel when I get too much salt... though today is not a great example.  I don't watch carbs or cholesterol, though I do track them and when I am eating similar to the above they never seem to be an issue.  We use olive oil on the few occasions we use oil.  Other than a few sips of Pepsi over the last two months, I do not drink soda any more.  I have probably had six beers in the last 15 weeks.  My desk is full of canned vegetables, beans, salmon, Kashi Go Lean, and Fiber One bars.  I have also gotten pretty good about planning my days so that I have few surprises and know what I need to add or subtract to hit my goals.  When I go to events like the graduation party yesterday, I eat 25-33% of what I used to eat.  My worst days now are a pittance compared to my bad days in the past. 

So, there you have it.  For those who don't give a crap, sorry for the detail.  Hopefully, it helps the many who have asked to understand a little better.  My friend Will Valentine summed it  up best when he quoted his trainer...  "Eat less, move more".  Four simple but very powerful words.  Here's to  finding whatever diet and exercise routine that works for you...  and,  I mean really WORKS for you...

Under 260! 259.4

For the first time in at least eight years and probably closer to ten, I am under 260 pounds!  My great day yesterday was confirmed with a 1.6 pound loss this morning.  Two graduation parties - 1.6 pounds lost.  Great start to what I hope to be another great week.  The next major barrier, 250 pounds, is now in sight.

Great Day!

Excellent workout.  Enjoyed the graduation party.  Saw a ton of friends I haven't seen in a couple of months... which means I got a ton of compliments as well.  Felt good and ate good.  Walked around Lowe's.  Worked in the garden.  Overall, a great day!  A perfect mix of food and activity.  Now I'm tired...  so, that's all your gettin' tonight!  See you tomorrow.  Here's to all of the rest of the graduation parties being as easy and as fun as today's...

261.0

As good as I have become about knowing the nutritional values of most foods, there are still some that surprise me.  Yesterday, I underestimated the calories of a couple of grilled Italian sausages at my first gradutaion party and missed my goals.  I think I should have known better, but I was thinking that they were about half of what they really are.  And, to think I was so proud of myself for not having a bun!  I learned that I need to keep my iPhone on me at all times (came up again later for something completely different) so that I can do a quick search on the myfitnesspal.com app and be fully educated at any moment.  Oh well, one graduation party down, no pounds gained.

I Bought a New Shirt at Kohl's

Just sayin'...

My Reward!

I was so excited about this morning's official weigh-in that I decided to celebrate and give myself a reward.  So, I went to the club this morning and had an incredible workout.  I set what I believe to be my new distance high with 4.52 miles and hit the weights a little harder than normal.  I felt great the entire time... especially rewarding after struggling through my workout last night.  I always struggle with my workout the night after I do a yoga class.  Did I tell you that yoga kicks my ass?!!!   Now, off to graduation party number one.  My  mid-term exam awaits...

261.0... Ahead of Pace!

With a week and a half remaining before my monthly update, my official weigh-in saw me down another .4 pounds from yesterday.  This puts me 1.8 pounds below today's goal weight and ahead of my May pace.  My June 1 goal was originally 258.0 after missing my May 1 goal by 3 pounds.  My new mini-goal is to get back  to my original goals and lose 6 pounds by then for an even 255.  I would love nothing more than to have to RE-adjust all my goals back down to the original numbers rather than adjust them up like I did last month.  Even more impressive...  if successful, that would be an 18 pound loss for the month which would be about the same amount I lost in April!  Did you get all that?  There will be a pop quiz tomorrow...

Not Enough Drama On This Blog!

When I started this blog a little over two months ago, I fully expected to have plenty of highs and lows on this journey and I wasn't wrong.  [Are you sick of me using the word journey?  Where is that darn thesaurus when you need it?]  I have had many nights where I did not want to blog because I felt guilty or embarassed about what I had eaten that day.  That was the whole purpose of this blog... to make me accountable.  At the beginning, those days would have likely occured far more frequently had this blog not been preventing me from steering off course on plenty of occasions.  I wanted to put my story out there because I knew it would help motivate me, help remind me, and help keep me in line. 

At the same time, I heard from lots of people that they enjoyed reading the blog because they shared similar experiences and many of the same emotions.  I know anyone struggling to lose weight goes through the same emotional roller coaster.  But, I was somewhat surprised by all of the people who enjoyed reading these stories and were nodding their heads in agreement because they could relate so well to every sad story I was reliving.  They felt a bond with me.  They felt connected to the blog.  I was telling their story. 

But, as my resolve continues to grow.  As my cravings continue to decline.  As my habits become more ingrained in my psyche.  As my streak of days at the club continues to roll on.  As I keep creating new belt loops or buying new belts.  As my bad days become further apart.  As those same bad days become simply okay days.  As all of this slowly becomes my lifestyle and the end result becomes just a matter of time.  I feel that many of you may drop off and this blog may become less interesting.  I think this story might be more interesting if there were more bad moments, more sad stories, more roadblocks. 

I feel so mentally strong about the changes that I have made that I do not foresee this happening.  I expected to struggle a lot more than I have.  I didn't expect these changes to take hold this relatively easy.  I may have expected the exercise part of the equation to be permanent.  But, I thought I would battle food demons a lot longer.  I am not trying to imply that I have no more food addictions.  I am not saying that I will never have another bad meal.  I am just saying that I felt sure that I would have to get on this blog and admit my failures far more than I have to date.  The way I feel right now, I really don't expect to be posting many more mistakes in judgement. 

I hope you continue to follow along despite a lack of drama.  I hope that just reading about my successes, listening to my excitement, and looking at that ticker continue to tick up slowly towards my goal is enough.  I hope that you can share in the exuberance and know that everyone who has commented to me and been supportive  of me is an integral part of that success.  I promise to throw in more painful memories as I am reminded of them throughout the rest of the year.  I even have a list to remind myself that sharing those stories is part of this and just because they are getting less painful with each passing day does not mean that it does not help me to share... and hopefully, help others as well.  Here's to the day that this blog becomes completely uninteresting because reading about my fluctuation from 195.4 to 195.2 is just not that exciting...

261.4.. What A Week!

After stepping on the scale last Friday shortly after returning from my business trip, I was extremely disappointed to see 269.4!  I hoped I could look back on that trip in a few months as a mere blip on the radar screen.  I could have never imagined that it could feel that way after only one amazing week.  I will no longer hang on to the disappointment from last week after losing 8 pounds since... though I may still try to hang on to the anger that drove me this week.  I continue to be amazed that I am still putting up these numbers a couple of months in.  In fact, this is probably my best week to date.  I am so encouraged that I am now hoping to get to my original goal for June 1 rather than my revised goal.  Graduation parties be damned!

After a couple of weeks with conflicts, we were able to make it back to the club for yoga.  Sally always seems pleasantly surprised to see us and is about the best beginning instructor a person could have.  Have I told you that yoga kicks my ass?  Well, it does.  And, it did once again.  We did switch the order of things and did our workout first. Good thing too. Because when I left the yoga class, I felt like a limp rag and struggled just walking around Lowe's!  But, it was a little better and I plan to start practicing some of the poses at home between classes.  At the very least, I will practice Downward Facing Dog because I am tired of not being able to stay in that pose the entire time.  A new challenge to drive me... just what I needed. 

Not Bitter Any Longer

Every year, the five Kroger convenience store divisions, of which Loaf 'N Jug is one, hold an annual finance meeting.  When I first started with LNJ,  only the top finance person in each division got to attend.  At LNJ, that is my boss, the Vice President of Finance.  After a couple of years of lobbying, the powers that be were finally convinced that two people from each division should attend.  And yes, I like to think that my whining had a lot to do with this.  So, for the last three years, I have happily attended the meeting.

Well, this year that decision was reversed and the meeting went back to the way it was.  I was not happy about the decision.  In fact, "not happy' does not do my bitterness any justice.  I have always enjoyed this meeting on many levels and felt that I was a key contributor.  To tell you the truth, since I found out I was not going earlier in the year up until yesterday, that bitter feeling had not subsided even slightly.  That is until yesterday.  Yesterday, I realized that because I was missing the meeting, I was also missing a ton of really tempting and excellent food.  I was missing the beers at dinner and the beers after dinner.  I was missing the incredible cranberry-oatmeal cookies that every really nice hotel seems to make to perfection... soft, warm, and very good.  I was missing the buffets for breakfast and lunch.  I was missing at least one night at a really good local restaurant.  In the end, I was missing everything that I truly want to miss at this time of my life.  Yesterday, I realized I was finally content missing the meeting this year... just wish I would have realized that sooner and saved myself a couple of months of brooding!

I would like to think that I would have had some self-control, at the very least a heavy dose of moderation.  But, like the leftovers that Leana doesn't bring back to the office (see yesterday's post if you missed the reference), it is far easier saying no from Pueblo than it would have been at the meeting the last few days.  While it may feel like I am being weak by avoiding situations as opposed to facing these situations head-on, I still think there is some value in knowing yourself and your weaknesses and making choices to avoid those situations that may test you.  This is the same reason I have tried to limit the number of buffets I have gone to over the last couple of years.  It is much easier to skip it altogether than to try, or even pretend, to be good.  By saying no to the situations themselves, I have in effect done the same thing or better than saying no to the temptation once I get there.  So, I will avoid these moments when I can.  And when I can't?  Well, that will be when I have a chance to prove my mettle. 

This weekend is the start of the graduation season here in Pueblo.  While our invites have declined considerably since are kids have graduated, we will still have two to three parties scheduled each weekend over the next four.  So, I will have plenty of chances to prove myself.  Wish me luck.

Here's to seeing the silver lining in any situation, even if it takes you three months to figure it out...

263.0! The 50 Pound Mark!

Yesterday, I realized I was only .2 pounds away from the myfitnesspal.com ticker registering 50 pounds.  But, that would have truly been only 46.6 pounds and I would have benefitted by the rounding that the MFP ticker does.  So, I really was hoping that I could lose .6 pounds this morning so that it was a true 50 pounds.  Wasn't feeling it last night and this morning and I knew a .8+ day was not in the cards.  But, when I saw that scale register exactly 263 and I knew I had dropped those .6 pounds I was hoping for, it made my morning!  So, please take a moment to glance to the right of this page and scroll down until you see that big red five-oh...  pretty cool!  Even cooler than that is the fact that the "bad" weigh-in I felt coming on was still .6 pounds.  Now it's time to work on doubling that number.  Would love to see three digits next to a blog post some day.

Where Have All My Enablers Gone?

Before I started changing my diet (not to be confused with the dreaded "going on a diet" - they are different), planning my meals, and packing food for the week, or at the very least the day, I used to be notorious for not bringing food to work.  I never thought about it the night or weekend before.  In the morning, I either didn't want to or did not have enough time to bother with it.  The only thing I remembered to do on a consistent basis was bring a yogurt for breakfast. 

Lunch always consisted of a scavenger-hunt-like game that I played to see if I could scrounge up a meal.  It usually started with me looking in the refrigerator and freezer for some samples that our vendors might have left behind the last time they visited.  Many a meal consisted of some packaged burrito, sandwich, or mystery meat concoction.  My next option would be a feeble attempt to search the refrigerator again hoping that maybe I had brought something to work previously and just forgotten about it.  I won't give you the success percentage of this option, but suffice it to say that it was a very miniscule number.  That was usually followed by a trip back to my desk to see if I had anything in one of my drawers that would satiate me.  That drawer was rarely the answer and usually had some vegetables and tuna that were five to ten years old and maybe some packages of top ramen.  Inevitably I would end up back in the lunch room to check one more time... with the final option of a cup of popcorn or having to leave the office to grab something becoming more likely.  I guess I was hoping that maybe a vendor had left something since the last time I visited or one of the onsite meetings with provided lunch had ended and the remaining food had been brought up to the vultures.  On many occasion, one of my co-workers would have something they weren't eating or be kind enough to offer me some food, most likely because they saw me wandering around like a lost puppy looking for table scraps.  

The person who came to my rescue the most was always Leana.  Leana would let me know, even before the sad face, that she had made a bunch of burritos and they were in the freezer.  Leana would tell me that she and her husband had gone to Taco Casa and she had part of her stuffed sopapilla left.  Leana would make green chile specifically planning to share it with me.  And, Leana would make runs to Burger King or other fast food places and make sure that she stopped in to see if I wanted anything while she was out.  And, let me add that I was always and am still thankful to her for that.

Leana wasn't alone.  Many others have been kind to me over the years.  Dave would bring in sausage biscuits from McDonald's in the mornings.  Russ would get me out of the office most Monday mornings for a bite at The Sunset Inn, Kuan's Kitchen, Pass Key, or Musso's... or some other places that were equally as healthy as the ones mentioned.

Today, Leana went to Taco Casa.  I asked her where she had lunch and she told me.  I thought to myself that it sounded pretty good.  Mexican food is still one of my biggest weaknesses and, at that moment, I actually craved it just a little.  I asked if she had brought back what she hadn't finished and she told me no.  Over the last several Taco Casa visits, she has stopped bringing back her leftovers because she doesn't eat her leftovers.  That leaves only me as a potential candidate to help her with that.  Well, Leana doesn't want to contribute to my dilemna any longer.

At that moment, I realized the power of this blog!  I am sure part of the decline in food offers I have gotten over the last couple of months is because all of these friends care about me and want to help.  I am sure that Lori and Kelsea have mentioned Mi Ranchito's less because they really know we shouldn't go or don't want it as badly.  But, I also know, and Leana confirmed, that a large part of the change is because these people are afraid of being mentioned in my blog.  They not only do not want to be enablers, they really don't want to be called out as an enabler in this space!  I knew by her reaction that I was right.  Nothing wrong with that either.  While I am 99.9% sure that I wouldn't have eaten any of her leftovers today, I am 100% sure I won't eat them if they are not in the building.  I am 100% sure that a sausage biscuit is not as tempting when it is not even offered to me.  So, thank you to all of you who have quietly changed how you interact with me.  That was not my intent.  But, it is a good thing anyway.  I appreciate the love... and the fear.  Here's to friends, family, loved ones, and co-workers (who may or may not fit any of the first three categories), being on your side and helping you to help you...  (thanks Jerry Maguire!)

By the way, this is my 100th post.  If you are still following along, THANKS! 

263.6 and Belt Loop #6

I forgot to mention on Monday that I had moved to the sixth and final belt loop on this piece-of-crap belt.  That was the loop I had created the last time I had lost weight a few years ago.  I am a few pounds away from being my lowest weight in probably 10 plus years.  My next belt loop should be on a completely different belt and I can't wait to make that move.  Though there is still a part of me that doesn't know whether to move to a new belt or create a new hole in this one!  I think I may hang this raggedy old belt up on the wall as a reminder, kind of like the small businesses that hang that first dollar they ever made. 

Eight Weeks!

I realized while walking on the treadmill tonight that I had been in the club or an exercise room 56 straight days!  Not sure that even in my younger days I ever exercised for 56 straight days.  As a matter of fact, I can't think of anything I have ever done in my life that I have done for 56 straight days!  lol.  While I have made a lot of changes in my life, this is the one that I am most proud of and, unlike eating, have yet to fail at.  I think it is gratifying to know that I am finally taking the time out of my busy schedule and devoting it to my well-being after ignoring myself for so many years. 

Each of those days have included 45 to 60 minutes on the treadmill.  All but a couple of those days have included weight training, the only exceptions being the days where the club was closing and I only had enough time to get my cardio workout in.  And several of those days have included some other form of exercise.  Up until a week or so ago, I told myself that I should probaby take a day off to rest my body.  But, I no longer feel like I need that day off, at least not from the treadmill and at least not at this point in my journey.  I have decided to take one day off a week from weight lifting and I think that has already helped with my recovery. 

I don't necessarily think that missing a day in the club would be catastrophic.  But, unless there is a reason beyond my control, I see no reason to make the choice not to go.  I really can't fathom skipping it just because I feel a little tired.  On those nights that I do feel tired, I usually end  up coming home from the club with renewed energy.  And, that streak motivates me too.  For somebody seeking motivation in any possible form, this is just one more thing that has helped me on this journey.  Yes, I am obsessive enough to turn that streak in to some crazy number just to say I did.  There are a lot of things that drive me and proving to myself that I can do things that I never did before is one of them.  Here's to adding to my streak and hoping that all of you can find a streak of your own...

264.4!

Another .8 pounds shed!  Since last Friday when I weighed in at 269.4, I have lost 5 pounds in 4 days.  My mood and confidence are extremely high after turning things around so quickly. 

I wasn't lying last week when I said that I am going slightly crazy.  I am obsessive by nature.  But, this journey has somewhat consumed me.  To illustrate my point...  I have lost 5 pounds in only 4 days.  I am back on pace for May.  Yet, despite all of those reasons to be ecstatic, I still have this little voice in the back of my head that keeps reminding me of the 4.4 pounds that I threw away (the 2.4 I gained and the 2.0 I had planned to lose)!  I keep thinking that had I not been so stupid on my business trip that I would weigh 260 today.  260!  Okay, just had to vent.  I promise I will get over it... at least by the end of May.

I Need To Lose Weight By _______

The wedding.  My kid's graduation.  The summer.  Our vacation.  The Christmas party at work.  My next doctor's appointment.  My class reunion.  The next reunion with my old friends.  And on and on the list goes.  I know that most of you reading this, like me, have voiced at least a couple of these if not all of them over the years.  If I ever publish my list of top ten tips for losing weight... you actually have to lose weight before anyone will believe your list, at least in my experience... one of my top five things will be to never lose weight for an event.  Losing weight, and more impoortantly changing your lifestyle, should be a decision you make for a plethora of reasons.  The list is long, but it includes living longer, enjoying activities with family and friends, having more energy at work, and feeling confident to name a few.  But, nowhere on that list will you find something as trivial as a wedding, a bathing suit or a party. 

These are all great things to have waiting for you when you ultimately reach your goal.  They should even be written down on your own personal list of desired outcomes.  But, they are horrible goals.  The problem with these goals is that they have an end date.  If you don't reach your goal by that end date, you have failed.  This failure means that you will likely end up quitting.  That results in you losing any progress you made to date.  The great thing about me not wanting to lose weight by the graduation parties I will be attending in a week is that I will not be discouraged if I lose two pounds or ten pounds in the next week or so. (My wife just called out "bullshit" when she heard that statement... lol)  I am not worried about how I look next weekend because I know I am heading in the right direction and making important changes to my life.  An event puts a finite timeframe on your journey and does not allow you to take whatever amount of time your specific journey might take.  The event also signals the end of the journey.  As if looking good at the wedding is a success and now your work is done.  Again, this is an almost guaranteed setup for going back to bad habits as soon as the event is over, whether you were successful or not.  Sure, I have set some monthly goals and a year end goal for myself.  But, these are just reminders.  They serve as motivators.  If I miss one, like I did in April, I will simply adjust my goals up slightly.  And, my end of the year goal isn't so I can attend a New Year's party and get compliments about the new me.  It's just a nice date that happened to work out perfectly with the weight I was hoping to lose each month. 

The other thing an event does is place too much emphasis on other people's opinions.  I truly believe that losing weight has to be something you do for yourself.  Sure, you can add a group of important people to that list, like your family and friends.  And, yes, it is wonderful to hear all of your acquaintances comment on the new you.  But again, this shouldn't be your reason for making a change.  In the end, these comments are an incredible byproduct of these changes, but not important enough to motivate you.

Of course, what do I know?  I still weight 265 pounds!  Here's to losing weight only to become a better you and not so you look good at the wedding...

265.2

A great three day stretch after seeing the slight bump up last Friday to 269.4 and coming dangerously close to going back over 270.  Since then, I have lost 4.2 pounds in three days and now sit at 265.2.  Saturday's goal is 262.8, so that leaves me 2.4 pounds off with 5 days to go.  Definitely attainable.

265.8! Choo Choo!!

Not only is the train back on the tracks, but those big steam engines are now starting to churn and I am moving down those tracks once again!  Okay, I promise that this will be my last train analogy.  Great morning!  There are mornings like this that it takes me a second to register what I am seeing.  I do the math in my head and then think I must have forgotten the previous day's weight.  But alas, there were no calculation errors. I lost 2 more pounds.  After three days of mild anxiety, I am once again euphoric.  This is now my new low since starting this blog and I am about six pounds away from seeing the 250s again for the first time in many many years.  The last two days also keep me within striking distance of my May goal.

The Mojo Train Is Back On The Tracks

This morning I weighed 267.8, down 1.4 pounds.  This is the same weight that I was last Saturday and .8 pounds over my low since starting this blog.  That means I lost a week.  Disappointing.  But, encouraged that I have yet to let any of these bad moments completely derail the mojo train.  So far, they have been minor blips that have only motivated me more.  Usually these weight gains serve me well in the gym and end up pushing me a little longer on the treadmill and a little harder on the weights.  I will take it.  You are all now welcome to begin speaking to me again without fear of being bit.

Still Grumpy

Fifteen hours later and I am still grumpy!  Looks like it will take shedding some weight by tomorrow morning to cheer me up.  Felt great at the club... if that's any consolation.  Too depressed to add anything else.  Here's to getting my mojo back tomorrow...

Keep Out!

Well, for those who read this in the morning and work with me, I advise avoiding me today at all costs.  Gained .8 pounds, and now sit at 269.4.  I am so upset with myself I can hardly see straight.  Not just that I ate poorly for a couple of days, but because I put a screeching halt to a locomotive full of momentum.  I am now behind my May pace and a week ago I thought I would make up the weight that I missed in April.  Ouch.  

Norm!!!

Some of you may remember the classic sitcom "Cheers" and it's great cast of characters.  One of those characters was Norm.  Norm was the big, burly, somewhat surly, but likable guy who made up half of one of the most famous bar patron duos along with Cliff.  Norm was a fixture at Cheers.  The type of regular that even has his own "reserved" chair at the end of the bar.  When Norm showed up at Cheers, all of the regulars in the bar would exult and greet him with a hearty "Norm!!!!".

While I have never received such a greeting at a bar or tavern, I have been met with a friendly hello of familiarity at several restaurants that we frequent on a regular basis.  So, what's my point?  As my streak of days continues at the Pueblo Athletic Club, it has been nice to see those same smiles and greetings that include that same familiarity.  Nobody says "Anthony!!!" as I walk in to the club.  But, they now greet me with that smile that says "hey, I know you...  you're a regular here".  I don't know if they pay attention enough to see any of the changes.  But, I think that the staffs of any athletic club have an appreciation for those members who they see on a regular basis.  Maybe one day, when I am under 200 and my total weight loss is approaching 115 pounds, someone might notice and decide to get the staff together and greet me with an exuberant "Anthony!!!".  That would be sweet.  And, while I don't think I have enough respect to have my treadmill reserved for me, I do find myself migrating to the same one if it is available. 

The other nice thing about becoming a "regular" at the club is the same kind of greetings and nods from the other regulars.  Some of them are people who have been doing this a lot longer than I.  Some of them are people who I know started at a similar time and have a very similar battle on their hands.  These folks share a common bond and almost feel like family.  We don't always say "hi".   But, there is always that nod that seems to indicate a sort of brotherhood and a sentiment of "good job, keep it up".  I liken it to motorcycle owners riding down the road and flicking out the half wave from their side as they pass bikers going the other way.  I am proud of my brotherhood and I root for all of them to be hugely successful.  Here's to becoming regulars at places far more healthy than bars or restaurants...

The Damages

268.6.  I gained 1.6 pounds on my business trip.  I really told myself that I was going to accept whatever the number was and not be disappointed.  But, I think maybe I was still hoping that it was going to show me about the same as when I left.  I was wrong.  Instead of seeing it as 1.6 pounds, I see it as 3.6 pounds gained...  the 2 I expected to lose and the 1.6 I gained.  I guess my cravings post might have been a little premature!  I can't help how I feel and I am incredibly disappointed in myself.  Need to buckle down to get back on pace for May.  The good news is that I was low enough that I didn't go back over the 270 barrier.  Even better news is that I still have a laptop issue, but it wasn't my hard drive. 

And Now I Wait

First off, let me apologize for the lack of a post yesterday.  When I returned to the hotel, I turned on my laptop and the hard drive crashed!  I was crushed.  No e-mail.  No work.  No myfitnesspal.com.  No Facebook.  But most importantly, no blog.  I felt pretty lost without my link to the world. 

I return from Wyoming with mixed emotions regarding my success while traveling.  I was definitely not great.  I also was definitely not horrible... well, not compared to previous travels of mine.  The best way to describe it would be that I made some poor decisions in moderation.  My anxiousness for my reunion with my friend the scale has turned in to a little bit of anxiety.  I am afraid to see what it has to tell me.  I can guarantee that I did not lose the two pounds I set out to lose.  At this point, I would be thrilled to see the same weight as when I left!  Not sure I will be that fortunate.  But, I will say that I do not plan to be disappointed.  I will start again tomorrow with renewed vigor and determination and next Wednesday my detour to Wyoming will be a distant memory.

The one thing that I can be thankful for is that I rarely travel anymore in my current job...  a far cry from my consulting days and my full-time travel schedule.  I may not be faced with this test again until next May when I am sent out once again for Operation Pride store visits.  I am also thankful that I really only had two days of true temptation.  I was good on Sunday while I traveled there.  And, I was really good today as I returned.  So, that left only Monday and Tuesday to venture out in to the world of restaurant choices.

While I referenced the difficulties of traveling while also eating well and exercising... and, I heard the same from others while discussing it...  I honestly am not sure if I am convinced that this is true.  Yeah, it might take a little more effort.   But, there are plenty of healthy choices at the restaurants.  There are still grocery stores that sell the same thing that they sell at home.  The only difficult thing is not having an oven or stove.  But, I think it is an easy thing to pin my poor decisions on.  Traveling is not the reason I ate too much at a buffet on Monday.  Traveling is not the reason I went out and had steak last night!  The only thing I can blame for those choices is an odd little impulse that sits in the back of my head and justifies these meals as reward for the sacrifice of not being at home, of not seeing my family, of not sleeping in my own bed.  That is a silly impulse and I am embarassed to admit it.  But, part of this journey is full disclosure and it helps me to put that out on the table.  I know there are plenty of you out there who are nodding your head in agreement... and plenty others who are not nodding only because they are lying to themselves.  Add to it the fact that the company is paying for my meal and those restaurants become even more tempting.  How stupid is that logic?  Why should that change my though process?  Ha, I showed Loaf 'N Jug!  For making me travel to Wyoming, I got even by eating like a pig, feeling sick to my stomach, and most likely gaining weight.  Who's the fool now?  Somewhere along this journey, I hope to get over this life-long obsession, and deeply rooted emotional issue, I have with taking advantage of a free meal.  I have gotten a little better, but I am not quite there.  Next May, I hope to show complete resolve and plan to eat exactly as I would if I was at home.

So, now I wait.  In less than 10 hours, I get the result from the only true barometer of my success.  I miss my friend.  Here's to reuniting with my old friend and, as all true friends do, being happy with whatever they have to tell me and not being upset when they sit there on the floor judging me...

I Have Gone Psycho

Okay, it is now official. I have gone slightly loony. Let me recap my day…

I woke up at 5 A.M., got ready, and grabbed a yogurt and a Fiber One as I headed out the door. Good intentions, good start. I even felt far better than I usually do at 5 A.M. after only getting a little over four hours of sleep. I ate my yogurt right away and my Fiber One bar a little over an hour later.

I felt good. But, as it approached about 1 P.M. my stomach began to rumble as it expects to be satiated on a more regular basis throughout the day. It was time for lunch. Only one crucial decision needed to be made… where. Well, the District Advisor I was riding with decided on Golden Corral! Can you believe it? I said I would never be at a buffet after Las Vegas and here I found myself at Golden Corral for the second time in two months! I was not thrilled. I even considered the social correctness of saying that I really didn’t want to go there even though it is customary that the DA decides on the lunch spot. Unfortunately, I refrained.

I wasn’t horrible. I wasn’t great. I was better than the last time I went to Golden Corral. I still ate more than my stomach likes to eat anymore… which is far less than my stomach was willing or able to handle the last time I was there. I think I was mostly disappointed because I wanted to try a nice restaurant near the hotel for dinner and my lunch had removed any such desire.

I got back to the hotel around 5:30 and found myself eager to get to the exercise room. I stopped by on my way up just to make sure that they had what I needed. There they were… two brand spanking new and shiny Nautilus treadmills with a large flat screen Vizio television placed nicely in front of them! No weight machines. But, if I had a choice of the two, the treadmill would have been my preferred apparatus. I rushed to my room, quickly changed and headed back down to the exercise room. I went for almost an hour while watching the NBA playoffs and felt much better about my poor lunch-time decisions. I finished and walked back up the four flights of stairs while stopping at each floor to do some calf lunges.

I debated even leaving the hotel to grab dinner. Almost stayed and ate an orange and some strawberries. But, bad logic prevailed. So, I headed out. I passed the Fire Rock Grill that I was planning to try. Thought of turning in and decided to keep driving. I eventually saw a Kentucky Fried Chicken and decided to grab a piece of grilled chicken and a side and bring it back to the hotel. But, sadly, my tale of woe continues. As I pulled up I realized that this was a combo KFC and Long John Silver’s. Long John’s… my nemesis and an out-of-town destination spot.

I walked in to the KFC/LJS combo store and stood there staring at the menu for about 15 minutes. The scary part about my 15 minute wait was that nobody was in line! Just me, standing there trying to decide. My mind jumped back and forth between healthy, well maybe not “healthy”, items and fried fish and shrimp. The dark side of my mind won out and I ordered a fish and shrimp combo meal. I felt guilty, but undaunted. I got my food and decided to eat there. I ate a piece of shrimp. Good, not great. I had a bite of fish. Okay, but overcooked and not even as good as the shrimp. I had some coleslaw. Decent, but only because it seemed healthier since it wasn’t actually deep-fried! I grabbed another shrimp but decided to remove the breading from it. I did the same with one of the pieces of fish. I removed the breading from the rest of the fish and played with the broken up pieces and realized I no longer wanted any more of this saturated-fat-laden breading or food. I covered it up, walked to the trash can, and proceeded to dump the rest of my meal in the garbage.

Not sure if this is even a victory. The fact that I even ordered it concerns me and I talked to myself out loud in the car on the way back to the hotel. I muttered things about being better than that, about not letting all of this progress slip away because of a business trip, about being a different person. Yeah, it’s hard to travel. But, I do not have to act like a glutton. Shame on me for not driving to the McDonald’s around the corner and just grabbing the side salad that I should have had and that my stomach would have been happy with. Or, I should have eaten the fruit I brought just to avoid having such a moment.

As I said, slightly loony. Maybe slightly is an understatement. But, I have to get past the crazy moments like I had tonight! Here’s to the last bites of Long John Silver’s I will ever have and trying to locate the mind that I lost somewhere along this journey…

My Three Day Challenge

As I sit in my hotel room at the Holiday Inn in Casper, Wyoming, I am readying myself mentally for the three day challenge that awaits me.  It is always tough to travel and be good at both eating and exercising. 

The hotel has an exercise room and I am hoping that the newness of the hotel is a good sign that the exercise equipment will still be functional... unlike a lot of the hotels I have stayed at in the past.  Made it to the club this morning and will be back in town early enough on Wednesday to make the club late that night.  That leaves two days that the Holiday Inn has to play surrogate for the Pueblo Athletic Club.  I will miss you PAC.  I arrived too late to actually get a chance to peak in to the exercise room.  So, I anxiously wonder if it will have a treadmill and some weight machines.  If not, I will figure out other ways to get a similar amount of activity in over the next two evenings.

Eating at restaurants poses a more difficult challenge.  I have found that the easiest way to eat well is to prepare in advance.  My drawers at work are filled with canned vegetables, oatmeal, Fiber One bars, beans, green tea, etc.  I plan my meals for the week in advance and make sure I bring everything I will need to get me through the week.  This trip is no different.   I have a cooler of oranges and yogurt.  I have a case of water.  I have every intention of eating good at whatever restaurant I end up at. 

The hardest part of this trip will be not having the scale with me to encourage me when I am doing good and smack me upside my head when I am not.  To keep my per day pace for May, I need to lose 2 pounds by Thursday morning.  I think I will go a little crazy waiting for that Thursday morning weigh-in.  Wish me luck.  Here's to picking off diificult challenges one at a time and knowing that I am in control...

Even Buttered Movie Popcorn Can't Stop Me Now... 267.0!!

Last night, as Lori and I were coming home from WalMart, we talked about going to see "Iron Man 2" after the little boy across the street told me that he and his family were going to see it.  I convinced Lori to go, but there was only one small problem.  We hadn't eaten dinner.  I was thinking the same thing as Lori but wasn't going to say it.  She was much bolder than I and said that we should go to the movie and have popcorn as our meal.  Like I said, it was at the back of my mind, so I was easily convinced.  But, for good measure, I got online to see the calories of buttered movie popcorn.  OUCH!  Couldn't find good results for Cinemark, but the AMC version of a large bucket came in at 1,640 calories!  My eagerness dropped slightly.  Not enough to keep me from eating any.  But, it did keep me from devouring it at quite the same pace.  It helped that it wasn't quite as good as I had hoped.  Right before the movie started, I ran out to get some more butter on it...  yes, double OUCH!  That was a bad idea.  The fact that it wasn't quite living up to expectations was why I was even being remotely good and had actually decided to stop eating any.  Well, the additional butter made all of the difference and I went back to consuming large amounts of saturated fat. 

In the end, I still ate less than I used to.  And, when I got home I researched movie popcorn only to find out that AMC and Regal use coconut oil and Cinemark uses canola oil.  Good thing for me as this substantially reduces that crazy calorie number I spoke of above.  Of course, that butter, or butter substance, is a whole 'nother issue...

So, I found that my brother's exception had become my exception as well.  When I left the theater, I found that ol' familiar sickening feeling from all of that greasy butter sitting in my stomach.  I almost wanted to eat a piece of bread to soak it all up.  The popcorn was good.  But, not good enough for the way I felt afterwards.  I don't think I will have more than a handful of movie popcorn at one setting ever again.  That's what exceptions have become for me... a kind of roller coaster of emotions.  But, the ride always seems to end at an stopping point where I feel queasy and disappointed.

The good news?!  Even with that exception, I was down another .8 pounds today for an even 267.0!   I am a weight-loss machine and even buttered movie popcorn can't slow me down!

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there!  I hope all of your kids love you even half as much as I love my mom.

267.8

A great first week of May.  Down 5.2 pounds from last Saturday.  My goal weight for today was 269.6 so I am ahead of my May pace by 1.8 pounds.  Instead of using up that 1.8 pounds over the next three weeks as a cushion, I would love to actually increase it by .4 pounds each week and end the month 3 pounds under my goal... making up for my miserable failure of missing my 21 pound weight goal in April by 3 pounds!  lol.  While I joke, I would truly love to fight to get back to my original goals if only to show that I can. 

268.4

Solid week so far with a day to go until my weekly official weigh-in.  Down 4.6 from last Saturday and 1.2 ahead of my May pace at the moment.

Goodbye Cravings!

I talked last week about my cravings for pizza starting to decline gradually.  I talked about my night of chips and salsa satisfying my cravings for Mexican food.  But, what I failed to mention is a general decline in my cravings for a variety of foods that used to be tempting.  I no longer mindlessly reach for a peanut butter cup.  I no longer grab a handful of popcorn at work without thought.  I also no longer find that I drool when I observe other people eating the foods I found so tempting just a month ago. 

Today at lunch, I walked in the lunchroom and found a couple of friends from work enjoying some double cheeseburgers from Sonic.  I walked over out of curiousity and was even offered a bite.  But, I found that I really had no desire.  A month ago, I would have still said no.  But, a month ago I would have really meant yes.  A month ago my stomach would have rumbled and I would have gone back to my office thinking how good that double cheeseburger looked to me.  But, not today.  I no longer have to lie to myself.  That double cheeseburger looked no better than the lunch I had packed.  Now, I know all of you find this hard to believe.  But, I can honestly say that I had no desire to take a bite of that double cheeseburger. 

I know I wrote about this last month. But, that night I simply said no to Taco Bell. That one was easy and it was a lone incident. Now these moments are commonplace.  This is just one example of many and is my biggest victory to date.  There isn't a better feeling than having "no" really mean "no" and not be just a matter of willpower beating out desire.  I didn't expect to get to this point this quickly but this makes my current battle that much easier.  This gives me so much more confidence that I will ultimately be successful in this journey.  And, this gives me even more reason to limit any bad days for fear of forgetting what it means to say no with conviction.  Here's to living the rest of my life without secretly craving all of the foods I have given up...

268.8!!

And the rest of the storm...  another 1.4 down.  On top of that, I am already ahead of Saturday's goal weight!

Success Stories

I talked previously about my motivational tools and surrounding myself with constant reminders.  One of these things is a collection of about 30 success stories from Men's Health magazine.  These were stories about men who had made incredible changes to their weights and bodies, and most likely their lives.  Some of them were so amazing that it was difficult to see the "before" person in the "after" picture.  A lot of the "after" photos looked like they were pictures of the "before" person's son!  When I had my subscription several years ago, I looked forward to this part of the magazine the most, which was usually towards the back.  I ripped out these pages and saved them for motivation.  I wanted so badly to be one of these guys.  I wanted so badly to send in my story and then one day flip to the back of a Men's Health magazine to see my face.  Come to think of it, I still would love to see that!  Eventually, I cut the "before" and after "pictures" out and consolidated them on some pages of paper to always keep on me.  I found them recently and am just as amazed now as I was back then. 

As I was perusing these stories again, one of these pictures stood out for me.  This young man, Adam Hornyak, not only lost weight, but he looked incredibly fit and he was wearing an Under Armour compression tee... the kind of shirt that I have wanted to be able to wear for many years.  Here's a look at Adam's success...

Even with my recent success and my firm belief that I am going to be under 200 by the end of the year, I can hardly imagine myself ever being fit enough to get in to an Under Armour or Nike compression tee.  But, even with that hint of doubt, I am going to make it a goal anyway.  I believe that if this day ever came, and I could wear one of these tees and look good in it, that I might actually shed some tears.  I guess we will see when it happens!  Here's to one day reading about Anthony Marinucci in a success story at the back of a fitness magazine... with the numbers "313" and "190" in the caption...

270.2!

Day 1 of the storm I was hoping for...  1.4 pounds down.  Tomorrow, I hope to see a "2" and a "6" at the front of that number.  [He says while knocking on wood]  The best thing is that I keep track of my rolling seven day weight loss, or more specifically the amount of weight I have lost over the last seven days at any given time to help me monitor how I am trending.  The 5.0 pounds I have lost over the last week represents my highest rolling seven total since April 7!  Considering the difficulty of losing weight at the same pace as you get thinner, this is a great sign. 

Sorry Niko

One of my best memories of my father growing up took place on the outdoor basketball courts at Manitou Springs Elementary School.  I was 14 at the time and it was shortly before my parents went there separate ways.  My dad and I enjoyed playing sports as I was growing up.  Not like Niko and I, or most modern day parents do, but as much as parents and their kids did back in the day.  And, I rarely remember any of these moments growing up that involved any kind of competition between the two of us...  just a game of catch with the baseball, shooting the basketball, throwing the football.  But, for some reason my dad and I decided to play one-on-one this particular evening.  It might have been that I wanted to prove to my pops that I was, and had been for a short period of time, better than him.  A sort of coming of age for me.

I was correct.  I beat my dad that night for the first time.  I was pretty happy with myself.  And, the great thing about being a dad is that you can lose to your son and, despite your normal competitve spirit, still be happy about losing and proud of your kid.  My dad still asks me every couple of years if I remember the first time I beat him in hoops and if I recall where it was.  And, I always do.  It is kind of ironic that he asks me if I can remember but forgets that he has asked me this repeatedly over the years! 

As my pops and I were having this biannual stroll down memory lane a couple of weeks ago, it hit me that my son had never had the pleasure of a similar experience.  I imagine that it would have occurred at a similar age, if not a little sooner.  I was much better than my dad.  But, Niko was far better than I ever was as well.  Unfortunately, my son never got this opportunity because by the time he was ready, I was not.  Because of my weight, knees and stamina, I no longer was playing hoops... even quick pick-up games in the driveway.  For this, and any other moments we didn't share because of my obesity, I apologize son. 

The best news coming out of this story?  I am still undefeated against Niko to this day!  I plan on getting back in to shape just enough so that we can meet in the driveway and he can wipe the concrete with me.  I am also hoping that once he has that coming of age, he will want to move out of the house!   Okay, I tease.   Here's to never passing up moments with your children because of your health and still trying to make up for it in every way you can no matter what age you are...

271.6

Hopefully, the calm before another weight loss storm...

Thanks Mariana!

Years ago, and I am guessing about seven, my son got a speed bag and some gloves that he had asked for on his birthday.  We talked about getting one of those stands that holds the full punching bag and a speed bag.  We looked at supports that I could hang in the garage.  In the end, we purchased none of those and decided that Niko could go to the athletic club and use their speed bag support until we figured out what we wanted to do. 

Flash forward seven years to today.  That same speed bag has sat in a cubboard in our garage collecting dust since that birthday.  It had never been used and only occasionally was moved around when I remembered it was in there and Niko or I thought we might use it.  Well, tonight, that speed bag finally left our house for it's first journey out in to the world.  That speed bag was filled up with air for the very first time.   And, that speed bag took it's first beating... if you can call what I did tonight a beating!   Believe me, that speed bag still looked brand new after I was done with it. 

Before leaving the house, I got on YouTube to see if I could grab any pointers.  I found a great how-to describing the 1-2-3-punch rhythm and clearly showing how easy this must be to learn.  So, two and a half minutes later I knew all I needed to know about the speed bag and left for the club. 

I finished my workout and headed to the room to hang the speed bag.  Got it up and then started punching the bag in the same 1-2-3 rhythm.  Only one minor problem.  I knew that the bag swiveled back and forth on a pendulum.  What I didn't realize was that the bag also spins around in a full circle... and rather easily as well!  I could get that first punch in easily and then most of the time a second before I would watch the bag start spinning around like some crazy Six Flags' amusement park ride.  Damn YouTube video never went in to the mechanics of the speed bag support!

After about 10 minutes of futility and an occasional third punch hitting the bag, a young girl and her little brother came over to watch my Muhammad Ali impression.  The little boy asked if he could hit the bag a couple of times and proceeded to whack it with all of his might while jumping off a pile of mats.  Then Mariana stepped up and asked if she could try.  Mariana couldn't have been older than about 10 or 11.  She lowered the support and then started punching the bag in a rhythmatic fashion similar to the video I had watched earlier.  Not perfectly.  It took her a little time.  But, in a few minutes she started getting a pretty good pace going with her right hand and then her left.  This was right about the time that I thought of leaving the club and just letting that speed bag find a new home that might actually use it.  I laughed at my ineptitude and told her she was making it look easy.  She told me she had done this a couple of times with her Dad who was really good and then started trying to teach me how to get it going.  She never laughed at my efforts and was so sweet and kind while critiquing each go of it that I made. She giggled when I told her she was kicking my butt.  So, I took another turn trying to emulate what Mariana had just done and it was a small improvement.  She took a turn.  Her brother slammed the bag again for good measure.  And, then I went again with even more success.  I gave her a five and she beamed, proud of her 45 year old student.  A few more turns and I was starting to get it.  That was right about the time the lights went out because the club was closing.  So, I thanked Mariana and decided to take the bag with me for a return attempt tomorrow night.  Thanks Mariana for your patience and kindness!  What a sweetheart.

By the way, the speed bag is much more difficult than it looks on YouTube.  But, like everything I do, I had fun.  I think it's one of those things that seems impossible at first but will seem just as easy in a couple of weeks once I really get it.  Here's to new challenges... especially those that make me sweat...

271.8!

I like .6 pounds per day...

272.4!

Hopefully, I will be in the 260s within a week!

First Official Check-In and Status Update

At the end of of March, I set monthly goals through the end of 2010.  Today was the my first official weigh-in against those goals.  Below is a quick status update...

• On March 30, I weighed 291.0 pounds.  My May 1 goal was 270 pounds.  I missed that goal.  This morning I weighed 273.0.  So, I missed by 3 pounds and lost 18.  A little disappointed, but how can I be unhappy with 18 pounds?!
• My June 1 goal was 255.  I will add the 3 pounds to it and make my new goal 258.  I will adjust my remaining goals accordingly as well.  So, they now are June 1 - 258, July 1 - 248, August 1 - 238, August 16 (my birthday) - 233, September 1 - 228, October 1 - 219, November 1 - 211, December 1 - 204, New Year's Day 2011 - 198.  How cool would it be to wake up on January 1 and be under 200 pounds for the first time!
• I have lost exactly 40 pounds since the middle of January.  I have lost 29.6 pounds since the start of this blog.  Thanks to all of you who have followed along and been so incredibly supportive. 
• My first night on the treadmill I walked 1.71 miles.  Today, I set my new high with 4.32 miles and I have been between 3.45 to 3.70 miles every day this week.
• My previous high was 4.20 miles almost two weeks ago.  On that day, I was mad at myself and I pushed through some pain in my shins and ankles.  Today, I no longer have any pain on the treadmill.  I almost have to make myself stop walking.
• I have been to the club 39 straight days!
• I had a couple of bad days in April.  But, I also faced Tubby's Diner and Golden Corral and won. 
• I lost .5625 pounds per day in April.  My goal weight for June 1 would require me to lose .4839 pounds per day.  Piece of cake...  right?!

Overall, I am happy with my progress.  I give myself an A- for April.