The picture says it all. Well, actually, that blurry picture doesn't say as much as it should. Too bad I couldn't have a real photographer around to help me this morning! Not sure if it was me shaking with excitment, deliriously tired from not getting enough sleep, or the camera's struggle to find something to focus on, but that picture sucks. No matter. The only thing that counts is that the number begins with a "1" and not a "2". Again, for the first time in 16-17 years, I am under 200 pounds. I usually delete blurry pics immediately. But, I think I will probably save this one!
This morning, I wrote the words "Finally!". Later, I thought to myself that those words weren't fair to myself. I think being so close for the last two months made it feel that way. It seemed like I was going to get there at any time and then I would sabotage myself again. I had become a little more anxious about the prospect of hitting my goal and even started doubting myself a little bit. I think that's where that word came from. But, after losing 113 pounds in 10 months, it hardly seems appropriate to use the words "finally". If you told me in March that it would take me two years to get here, I would have been more than content. So, I apologize to myself. Please strike those words from my earlier blog.
I didn't cry this morning. I have cried on many mornings, both on the scale and in front of the mirror. Six months ago, I would have guaranteed you that I would cry the morning I broke this barrier. But, I think there was a sense of inevitability this week. I was pretty confident that today would be the day. I haven't slept well this week and it was even worse last night. I woke up extremely exhausted. I wanted so badly not to have to go to the club this morning that I think I actually felt more relief than excitement when I saw that number. Maybe tonight I will finally get some sleep.
I took the photo and then I crawled back in to bed... anxious to go back to sleep for another hour. Not sure what made me think that I would be capable of falling back to sleep. My excitement was overwhelming! I sat there thinking about calling my brother, mother, father, sisters, and kids. I thought of telling my friends at work who have helped me so much along this journey. I thought of how I couldn't believe what I had just seen. In the end, I thought of everything but falling asleep again. I should have gone to the club...
Shortly after getting to work, I received flowers and balloons with a "Congratulations" balloon on top. Lori had sent me a note telling me how proud she was of me. I managed to hold in the emotions when I was standing on that scale, but that little note from my wife was the straw that broke the camel's back. It was bound to come out eventually I suppose. I cried when I read that note. Thanks Lori for the note and being there every single day for me!
The other thing that touched me was the text message I received from Steve Garcia. He said he was at work and couldn't check the blog. But, he was so anxious to know if I had done it that he had to text me and ask! That made my day and I was thrilled to tell him yes. Steve and I have a mutual-inspiration thing going on. Thanks Steve!
Today felt like a birthday celebration. In fact, I may remember this day as my re-birthday. Now the next phase of my journey begins. Fortunately, the changes I have made are permanent. I don't see much, if anything, changing over the next year. In fact, I am doing better to start the new year then I have in a few months. I will continue trying to extend my streak. I can begin to work on these last few pounds and settling in to this new body. My brother and I, once again, plan to start P90x next week... a plan that was delayed once before.
Here's to Phase II of my journey...
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