The Fit Guy Within

When I started this journey, I talked about becoming the athlete that I once was.  Despite my weight, there still lived a fit person in my mind.  That is how I saw myself despite all of the considerable evidence to the contrary.  But, I will also let you in on a secret.  That fit person was starting to fade from my memory as I once again passed the 300 pound mark.  I went from still feeling like an athlete to finally starting to realize that I was not only no longer that athlete I remembered but also that I was a very obese person.  I was starting to accept that what people saw when they met me was my new reality.

About a week ago, it hit me that I was exercising so much now that I was actually becoming as fit as I have been in well over a decade and a half.  While I had slowly gotten heavy since the early '90s when I tore up my knee playing hoops, I had pretty much quit doing any significant exercise since that day as well.  I had short periods of time where I made it in to the gym occasionally.  But, none of these episodes was long-lived and consistent enough to show major results.  And, they definitely never compared with my recent efforts.

I have been thinner in the last 15 years.  But, I doubt if I have ever been this fit.  It hit me at that moment that I now had a fit person hiding inside of this overweight (I promised not to call myself fat any longer) body.  When I eventually get down below 200, I will not only be much thinner, but I will also be fit!  The fit person that was once hiding in my mind has now become a real fit person hiding behind this old suit of fat (sorry, Cyndi, I loved your analogy so I had to steal it!).  I can't imagine being as fit as I was 15+ years ago.  In reality, I am not even sure that I was as fit when I was playing hoops daily as I believe I will be when this journey ends.  Other than some more aches and pains that come with aging, I actually hope to become fitter than I ever have been in my entire life. 

I no longer want to win the lottery soley to buy my wife a new car, the two of us a new house, and all the toys a man could desire.  I now want to win the lottery because I would love to wake up early each day, go swimming, golf 18 holes, go hiking, and then end up at the gym to do some cardio, weights and possibly some hoops or racquetball.  That sounds like a great day to me!  Here's to finally getting to meet that fit person who has taken up residence inside of this fat suit I call home...