Okay, I lied. Wasn't I taught to "never say never". You would think I would learn by now. If I hadn't used it as a blog title before, I would have titled this "I Suck". I am not sure what is worse, going back over 240 or realizing that, despite what I may think to the contrary, I have not fully made the mental switch that is required to really make a change. I keep thinking I have had that moment again. But, when faced with even the slightest temptation, I am still weak.
I felt energized after waking up to a new low on Saturday of 238.6. After going to the club, I decided to weigh myself again and saw 237.2! That was the motivation I needed with a planned housewarming party that we were going to that afternoon. I figured there would be some snacks and beer. A beer or two, easy on the snacks, and I would wake up Sunday to something in the 238 range. But, they had chicken wings, pizza, and home-made salsa and bean dip. I will blame it on the Florida Gators. In my excitement over the huge win over LSU, I lost my senses and kept eating... and eating... and eating. I don't even know what comes over me at those moments. I feel the resentment as soon as I take a moment to breathe. I knew I would be close to or over 240. But, when I saw 243 on Sunday morning, all of those feelings of self-loathing came back in full force. It is amazing that I can gain 4.4 in one day. Even more amazing that I gained 5.8 from my post-workout weight.
So, once again I am doomed by my choices on the weekends. I started thinking about the difference between my weeks and my weekends. So, I looked it up. Over the last 11 weekend weigh-ins, those on Sunday and Monday (based on my Saturdays and Sundays), I have gained 20 pounds. 20 pounds! Over that same period, my weigh-ins on the other five days, Tuesday through Saturday, I have lost 30.6 pounds! If I took away the weekends, I would already be close to 220. During that period, I have had only one weekend where I stayed the same and one weekend where I lost 3.6 pounds. The other 9 weekends all saw me gain weight. It is hard to believe that I know this and can't control myself.
Back to the week, where I will kick butt and get myself back to 238. Then on to the weekend where I have nothing planned... yet. But, there will come a point where I don't care whether I have plans or not. That hasn't come yet. But, I hope it does soon.
Day 52 - (1.0), Overall - (10.6), Pounds To Break 220 - 22.2, Ahead/(Behind) Pace - (12.1)
The Commitment - Day 13 - (1.0), Overall - (3.0)
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