Monday, May 16, 2011

205.2/211.6/208.2/211.0/212.6

There it is.  I have been so disappointed in myself over the last few days that I haven't even had the heart to post my weight.  After writing the words "Better..." on Wednesday, I have started a slide that included way too much food at a baseball game and then a weekend of sulking about it that included Pass Key, margaritas, nachos, and Chinese food. 

I am in a serious funk.  I want to offer up the excuses about stress from my new job, my dad's recent health concerns, and other things.  But, those are just bullshit excuses!  This funk started when I fell off of P90X when I was sick.  I haven't done well about all of the stuff I said I would change... like soda, chocolate, and popcorn.  I continue to exercise, which might be my only saving grace. 

The last couple of times I crossed over 210, I felt like they were temporary blips that would be gone with just a couple of days of focus.  But, for some reason, this feels different.  This feels like a permanent change to my body and I can see and feel it.  I ate so much salt at the baseball game on Thursday that I felt like crap for two days.  Today, I can feel my stomach protruding again.

I know I have talked about Phase 3 before and failed.  Well, it's time to try again.  Maybe I need a different name.  But, I do know that I need a new mini-goal.  Since my birthday is exactly three months away, that is the end date for my newest challenge.  I weight 212.6 today.  My goal is still 193.  So, I need to lose 19.6 pounds in 92 days.  This will be called my Birthday Challenge.  No more whining... time to stop this self-loathing and move forward. 

1 comment:

  1. It's great that you are aware of the "bad" behaviors, and you can meet your goals with a bit of focus. I think I can help with a little motivation too... especially in regards to not drinking soda or eating chocolate. :-) we can talk when u get back... stay positive & you'll do great!

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