Down 2.0 Pounds

Nice.  Down 7.8 pounds since Monday.  Now I only need to minimize the damage from the party I am going to tonight.  I am good if I gain a little weight.  I am just trying to avoid one of those 5 or 6 pound nightmares.  If I can get through tonight relatively unscathed, then I might have a chance at a 10 pound week.

Down 2.8 Pounds

I made up for missing the club on Wednesday night by going last night and again this morning.  Nice start to my Friday.  Down 5.8 pounds since Monday morning.  If I can get through the New Year's Eve party relatively unscathed, maybe I can start gaining a little momentum.

Up 2.0 Pounds

That's what happens when I skip exercising.  I want so badly to string together a week's worth of days where my weight decreases on every one.

Down 2.6 Pounds

I would  love nothing more than to string together about 10 straight days of going down in weight.  Down 5 pounds in the two days post-Christmas.  I started back on myfitnesspal.com yesterday morning and then forgot about it the rest of the day.  Will try again today.  Really need to make that a habit again because it really does help.  So, since I am talking about...

Down 2.4 Pounds

Wow!  Has it really been two weeks since I last posted.  I imagine you can guess that those two weeks haven't been that good based on my lack of posts.  I do have a tendency to write more when I am feeling better. 

So, today's drop may look good on the surface.  But, I must confess that it comes a day after seeing a new high and is not as exciting as it sounds.  I am still not telling you that new high... yet.  Since the highest weight I have posted on this blog over the last month was 240.6, I can tell you that it was higher than that.  Since I have said I have posted two new highs since then, you can assume I was at least 241.0 yesterday.  And, you would be on the low end.

Well, only one more holiday left to use as an excuse.  After next Sunday, I will no longer have an excuse for my bad behaviour.  What will I blame this on then? 

Down .2

Not good.  But, still lower.  Down 6.2 in 3 days.  Starting back on myfitnesspal.com this morning.

Down 2 Pounds!

Still not telling.  Down another 2 pounds (yes, an even 2 after an even 4).  Down 6 pounds in two days.  That's a good thing.  I can actually breathe again when I put on my pants...

Down 4 Pounds!

So, again, I am not telling you my weight.  I do plan on sharing my weight again...If I can actually string together any kind of success.  Today was a good morning after the horror of yesterday morning.  Despite that, I am done talking about "phases".  Done talking about "momentum".  Done talking about "getting back on track".  Done pretending that what I saw yesterday has "scared me straight".  We will know what kind of impact yesterday had on me in a couple of weeks.  We will see what that number is after all of the holiday parties, Christmas meal, and New Year's celebration.  We shall see...

I'm Not Telling!

Kind of like that kid who is losing and decides to take their ball home.  I did weigh this morning.  But, I am not sharing that weight with you because my fingers can not physically type that number.  Suffice it to say that it is a new high.  After a good-bye lunch with my Mom at a Chinese buffet followed by a steak dinner last night, I knew it was going to be painful.  I may type it another day if I end up putting this behind me.  But, for now, I am not sharing.

Oh, by the way, before this morning, the weekend was just okay.  Since Friday's weight of 237.8, I went 237.6, 237.2, and 237.6. 

Down 2.8 Pounds!

So, that's the good news!  After celebrating my son's graduation from college at Texas Roadhouse on Wednesday night and subsequently seeing a number yesterday that made me want to break down in tears, I came in to the office and disposed of all of the salty snacks, candy and junk food in my desk drawers.  I avoided the popcorn.  I skipped the soda.  And, the result above was my immediate reward.

So, where have I been, you ask?  Well, when I was young I was always taught that if you had nothing nice to say about someone then don't say anything at all.  Well, since my post on Thanksgiving morning, I have had absolutely nothing positive to say about Anthony Marinucci.  In fact, most of what I wanted to say about myself would be inappropriate for a family-friendly blog.  The phrase "spiralling out of control" hardly does it any justice.  Here are the numbers...

My last post (Thanksgiving morning) - 229.0
11/25 - N/A, after pigging out on Thanksgiving, I actually couldn't bear to step on the scale!
11/26 - 233.2
11/27 - 233.4
11/28 - 236.0
11/29 - 235.0
11/30 - 236.2
12/1 - 235.8
12/2 - 235.0
12/3 - 234.2
12/4 - 235.0
12/5 - 237.2
12/6 - 236.8
12/7 - 237.8
12/8 - 240.6
Today - 237.8

Over that time frame, I continued to set new highs that I never thought I would see again.  And, each time, I would think to myself, "no more".  So, instead of being close to 220 where I hoped to be, I gained 11.6 pounds.  I need an intervention...

I found myself watching The Biggest Loser and being skeptical when the contestants were looking back at where they had started and each of them said they would "never" go back to that again.  Like a jerk, I assumed my lack of willpower was shared by all of these contestants.  As if none of them would have the strength to stay at a lower weight just because I have failed. 

So, once again, I apologize to a long list.  I apologize to those who care about me who get to read how ugly this journey has turned and not be able to do anything about it.  I apologize to my brother who I made a promise to that I would use myfitnesspal.com... a promise that lasted three days.  I apologize to all of the people who I still run in to that say I look great when I then curse them in my head because I don't want to accept those compliments.  I apologize for not writing in this blog when I have so much to say.  I apologize to my stomach each morning when I put on pants that are getting dangerously close to not fitting while still vowing not to buy any bigger clothes.  I apologize to my knees that had been so happy for months and now ache ever so slightly because of the extra 40 pounds. 

And, I start over once again with complete faith that this is the turning point... seeing 240 scared the crap out of me.